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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 666544" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, I am beginning to wonder if more people than just Mom were borderline/narcs whatever. Not that I don't have problems too, but I've been in treatment forever and narcs don't go for treatment. If they do, it is usually because of "somebody else", not their own bad behavior or dysfunction. So they wouldn't go. Most are undiagnosed.</p><p>I mentioned my uncle. He has so many symptoms of it t hat it reeks. Yet he was a professor w hose students loved him. Which makes me question if he gave much of himself to them because he was nice (which I just don't see) or because he wanted them to admire him, which is typical for a narcissistic. They love adoration. At any rate, he was really a mess and was having some sort of serious mental health issues, possibly hallucinations, before he died. I was not seeing him then so it was second hand info, but I heard he was having conversations with lamps and just not making sense. Then he died at an early age, 72, after spending most of his life being a health freak, which is intersting. I think he may have also had anorexia. He was handsome when young, a twig when I last saw a picture of him.</p><p></p><p>There are others I suspect have some narc in them. Of course, my mother was my worst tormentor. I am sure she had things wrong with her, but, like almost everyone with a personality disorder, she never even tiptoed into a therapists door because she thought she was normal.</p><p></p><p>The rather humorous issue here is that WE seek out help. We KNOW. We know about our own issues too. So we try to get treatment in some form.</p><p></p><p>They think it's us. They are fine. So they never get any help. They just keep abusing and, at the same time, acting like a victim. "I was abused by ________, but I'm FINE." Normal people do not allow themselves to be abused. As children, yes, but not as healthy adults. Damaged adults only allow themselves to be abused.</p><p></p><p>All this is very interesting to me. Moving on is a process, but it gets better with every nugget of understanding. I just wonder why I encouraged drama queens and kings for so long by allowing them in my life when they were so awful to me. That's on me. I was a slow learner. I've got it straight now. YOU NEVER LET THEM IN OR YOU SUFFER. They continue to think they are fine and do the same not fine things. We can't change them even if we love them dearly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 666544, member: 1550"] Cedar, I am beginning to wonder if more people than just Mom were borderline/narcs whatever. Not that I don't have problems too, but I've been in treatment forever and narcs don't go for treatment. If they do, it is usually because of "somebody else", not their own bad behavior or dysfunction. So they wouldn't go. Most are undiagnosed. I mentioned my uncle. He has so many symptoms of it t hat it reeks. Yet he was a professor w hose students loved him. Which makes me question if he gave much of himself to them because he was nice (which I just don't see) or because he wanted them to admire him, which is typical for a narcissistic. They love adoration. At any rate, he was really a mess and was having some sort of serious mental health issues, possibly hallucinations, before he died. I was not seeing him then so it was second hand info, but I heard he was having conversations with lamps and just not making sense. Then he died at an early age, 72, after spending most of his life being a health freak, which is intersting. I think he may have also had anorexia. He was handsome when young, a twig when I last saw a picture of him. There are others I suspect have some narc in them. Of course, my mother was my worst tormentor. I am sure she had things wrong with her, but, like almost everyone with a personality disorder, she never even tiptoed into a therapists door because she thought she was normal. The rather humorous issue here is that WE seek out help. We KNOW. We know about our own issues too. So we try to get treatment in some form. They think it's us. They are fine. So they never get any help. They just keep abusing and, at the same time, acting like a victim. "I was abused by ________, but I'm FINE." Normal people do not allow themselves to be abused. As children, yes, but not as healthy adults. Damaged adults only allow themselves to be abused. All this is very interesting to me. Moving on is a process, but it gets better with every nugget of understanding. I just wonder why I encouraged drama queens and kings for so long by allowing them in my life when they were so awful to me. That's on me. I was a slow learner. I've got it straight now. YOU NEVER LET THEM IN OR YOU SUFFER. They continue to think they are fine and do the same not fine things. We can't change them even if we love them dearly. [/QUOTE]
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