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Narcissism Survivor
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 666562" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>You know what I am thinking it is, this morning? Remember that Nietzsche quote about loving life not because we love living, but because we love? Like, the love came first. We loved whatever it was that life brought us.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, that is how healthy people are put together, emotionally.</p><p></p><p>And maybe, that is the difference in the narcissistic or whatever diagnosis seems to fit. That they were missing some essential component of self right from the start. So, when you say maybe you were a slow learner, that isn't as true as that you believed love must be in there in them because it was, in you. Or in me, or Copa or everybody, normally. So, since our people pretty clearly were not loving us, we kept believing that if we could believe in that loving core they must have too because we have it, then everything could be fine.</p><p></p><p>But, according to what we are reading lately, there is no loving core there, in the narcissistic person, that does not have to do directly with them.</p><p></p><p><em>And they were always that way. Even when we were little girls, we did not have sisters capable of loving us the way we could love them.</em></p><p></p><p>I feel so sad for us. And for them, too. One of the things I read this morning indicated that without that loving core, we feel the normal things everyone feels ~ envy or jealousy or rage ~ but for the narcissistic person, there is no empathy to combat those feelings. For the rest of us, envy can go away because we do, after all love that person. For the narcissistic person, the envy or anger that, for most of us, is a momentary thing, grows into jealousy and then, hatred or rage. They have nothing to counter those negative feelings, maybe.</p><p></p><p>How sad, for all of us.</p><p></p><p>But when we think about the increasingly negative and or grandiose ways our sisters (and our moms) behave, that could make sense and explain what is happening ~ not just to us, but to them, too.</p><p></p><p>No villain, after all. </p><p></p><p>Just wounded people for whom we can, after all, feel compassion.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 666562, member: 17461"] You know what I am thinking it is, this morning? Remember that Nietzsche quote about loving life not because we love living, but because we love? Like, the love came first. We loved whatever it was that life brought us. Maybe, that is how healthy people are put together, emotionally. And maybe, that is the difference in the narcissistic or whatever diagnosis seems to fit. That they were missing some essential component of self right from the start. So, when you say maybe you were a slow learner, that isn't as true as that you believed love must be in there in them because it was, in you. Or in me, or Copa or everybody, normally. So, since our people pretty clearly were not loving us, we kept believing that if we could believe in that loving core they must have too because we have it, then everything could be fine. But, according to what we are reading lately, there is no loving core there, in the narcissistic person, that does not have to do directly with them. [I]And they were always that way. Even when we were little girls, we did not have sisters capable of loving us the way we could love them.[/I] I feel so sad for us. And for them, too. One of the things I read this morning indicated that without that loving core, we feel the normal things everyone feels ~ envy or jealousy or rage ~ but for the narcissistic person, there is no empathy to combat those feelings. For the rest of us, envy can go away because we do, after all love that person. For the narcissistic person, the envy or anger that, for most of us, is a momentary thing, grows into jealousy and then, hatred or rage. They have nothing to counter those negative feelings, maybe. How sad, for all of us. But when we think about the increasingly negative and or grandiose ways our sisters (and our moms) behave, that could make sense and explain what is happening ~ not just to us, but to them, too. No villain, after all. Just wounded people for whom we can, after all, feel compassion. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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