Cedar, I do not agree either.
I think narcissists are victims (their own). I think of my mother and sister as having brains that compel them to think of the world, themselves and others in a highly circumscribed, cookie-cutter way. They are fixed. My mother was highly moral in some ways in others, not at all. It was not a choice. It was based upon values determined early on. If I had to choose a word that fit it would be determined. Where we may have flexibility and choice, our families are compelled to view the world as they do because that is how they see it based upon their limitations.
You and I can pick ourselves up to some extent and change locations or around and see it all differently. While my mother could more than my sister. Her range of motion was limited.
Yours is not. That is what always differentiated you from them. Your flexibility and exultation in seeing from different perspectives, the basis of compassion.
COPA