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Family of Origin
Narcissistic mother checklist
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 668320" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Sorry to get back on this so late, but my life is so busy right now I am totally without free time. Bart always complains I'm never home so I can't talk on the phone!!</p><p></p><p>I don't know what my mother's diagnosis was. I'm am positive she had one, probably many. That would go for everybody in my FOO and extended family. It was very small and nobody was really what normal is considered. All I know about my mother is that she was extremely mean to me from the time I was a little girl until she died. Sometimes it was in a passive-aggressive way, which is something my sister picked up...passive aggression. Such as a "Daphne" coming here, when it was either planned or her pretending to be Daphne. My mother did not have an eating disorder, but she was obsessed with fatness. She had many borderline traits and many narc traits and since I was her designated scapegoat, I got the worst of her, and it wasn't pretty.</p><p></p><p>My diagnosis of mother in regards to me: MEAN PERSON WITH CRUEL INTENT.</p><p></p><p>In my peer-to-peer mental health caregiver class we are talking about our own issues now and how we came to a good place. Almost everyone had a mother similiar to ours (or father or both). All caused trauma in their adult children. Although I do think almost every family is dysfunctional, many dysfunctional families still love each other and don't try to throw out the designated bad seed. I think our families were worse than your average dysfunctional family. I am very grateful that ALL OF US did not repeat the same offenses against our own beloved ch ildren and that we can finally see our FOO more clearly. Copa, in your case I think you are able to see that you did not leave your mother and that there was much good in her. Cedar, you seem more grounded about your family of origin too.And I just learned that the only way to deal with mine is to not deal with mine. And I never will again. I am grateful my father does not have a large estate with a house and land...ugh. I don't know how that wouldl go down, but it isn't a fact. He chose to never own a home again after my mother made him leave the house so things will be easier and I'll just let a lawyer deal with dysfunctional brother. I will get what is rightfully mine and then disappear, but I will do it through a third party.</p><p></p><p>I do love my father. I hope to see him soon.</p><p></p><p>I truly never felt I could be so free. Thoughts of them are much less. Actually I barely think of them anymore, which is why I haven't felt the need to post here.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Everyone reading, have a great day!!! I'm going to see daughter and granddaughter this weekend with my other daughter and her boyfriend and I"m feeling just very excited. Hope you are all happy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 668320, member: 1550"] Sorry to get back on this so late, but my life is so busy right now I am totally without free time. Bart always complains I'm never home so I can't talk on the phone!! I don't know what my mother's diagnosis was. I'm am positive she had one, probably many. That would go for everybody in my FOO and extended family. It was very small and nobody was really what normal is considered. All I know about my mother is that she was extremely mean to me from the time I was a little girl until she died. Sometimes it was in a passive-aggressive way, which is something my sister picked up...passive aggression. Such as a "Daphne" coming here, when it was either planned or her pretending to be Daphne. My mother did not have an eating disorder, but she was obsessed with fatness. She had many borderline traits and many narc traits and since I was her designated scapegoat, I got the worst of her, and it wasn't pretty. My diagnosis of mother in regards to me: MEAN PERSON WITH CRUEL INTENT. In my peer-to-peer mental health caregiver class we are talking about our own issues now and how we came to a good place. Almost everyone had a mother similiar to ours (or father or both). All caused trauma in their adult children. Although I do think almost every family is dysfunctional, many dysfunctional families still love each other and don't try to throw out the designated bad seed. I think our families were worse than your average dysfunctional family. I am very grateful that ALL OF US did not repeat the same offenses against our own beloved ch ildren and that we can finally see our FOO more clearly. Copa, in your case I think you are able to see that you did not leave your mother and that there was much good in her. Cedar, you seem more grounded about your family of origin too.And I just learned that the only way to deal with mine is to not deal with mine. And I never will again. I am grateful my father does not have a large estate with a house and land...ugh. I don't know how that wouldl go down, but it isn't a fact. He chose to never own a home again after my mother made him leave the house so things will be easier and I'll just let a lawyer deal with dysfunctional brother. I will get what is rightfully mine and then disappear, but I will do it through a third party. I do love my father. I hope to see him soon. I truly never felt I could be so free. Thoughts of them are much less. Actually I barely think of them anymore, which is why I haven't felt the need to post here. Everyone reading, have a great day!!! I'm going to see daughter and granddaughter this weekend with my other daughter and her boyfriend and I"m feeling just very excited. Hope you are all happy. [/QUOTE]
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