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Family of Origin
Narcissistic Parents/Investment in success, performance of kids
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 666763" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Me, too.</p><p></p><p>That's why our sisters (or moms, for me) can do these terrible things to us and get away with it. They did it. They must know that is who we are or why would they say or do or believe all the crummy things they say and do and believe.</p><p></p><p>That is our filter. That is why I liked Brene Brown's "Just sit with the feelings."</p><p></p><p>Overcoming our shame bases has to do with surviving our vulnerabilities. It's a hard thing, to do that, and not employ whatever poor defense we have evolved. But it is an amazing way to know what to do with those terrible feelings.</p><p></p><p>Nothing at all.</p><p></p><p>Just know they are there, and let them be. They fall apart on their own. An adult trapped in the situations we grew up in would come away with the same defenses we have had to erect. "If I call myself out first, it won't hurt as much when someone else calls me out."</p><p></p><p>But we cannot be strong adults from shame based cores.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 666763, member: 17461"] Me, too. That's why our sisters (or moms, for me) can do these terrible things to us and get away with it. They did it. They must know that is who we are or why would they say or do or believe all the crummy things they say and do and believe. That is our filter. That is why I liked Brene Brown's "Just sit with the feelings." Overcoming our shame bases has to do with surviving our vulnerabilities. It's a hard thing, to do that, and not employ whatever poor defense we have evolved. But it is an amazing way to know what to do with those terrible feelings. Nothing at all. Just know they are there, and let them be. They fall apart on their own. An adult trapped in the situations we grew up in would come away with the same defenses we have had to erect. "If I call myself out first, it won't hurt as much when someone else calls me out." But we cannot be strong adults from shame based cores. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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