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Narcissistic Parents/Investment in success, performance of kids
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 666774" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa, it wasn't even our condo. Before we settled on Florida, we rented something on Padre Island that we found on the internet. Just to see whether we wanted to do Texas or Florida before we committed to Florida. That is what is so crazy wrong with it. The condo was rented sight unseen. It was beautiful. Two beds, two baths, balcony on the beach. Filled with original Mexican artists' work. Beautiful stuff, and so interesting a place to be. Mexican families ~ generations of Mexican families, around the pool in the evening. Everyone so gentle and loving to one another. We invited my parents, who were wintering in a city further up the coast, to come down. My mom said wouldn't it be nice to invite my sister, too. That meant there would not be room for my parents to stay with us, but my parents were close enough to drive home and my sister wasn't.</p><p></p><p>So, my sister and her husband spent two nights there with us.</p><p></p><p>And left early the next morning claiming whatever reason for why they needed to leave, and then, spent that time looking into condos further down the beach that were "better" than the one they had stayed in with us.</p><p></p><p>And then, my sister told me they had done so.</p><p></p><p>And I mean, what is there to be said about these kinds of things?</p><p></p><p>I just said I was glad they liked the beach well enough to check it out.</p><p></p><p>But I wasn't able to think very well, then. The kids were in such trouble, and I felt so badly about myself in those years. </p><p></p><p>I am better, now.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>My mother has been in the house we then built in Florida, but my sister would never come there. Her husband and I had talked (because he was the only one who would pick up the phone for us when we called there ~ I have posted about that before) anyway, he and I were excited they were coming and talked about we will do thus and so when they come.</p><p></p><p>But they never did come.</p><p></p><p>By the time I was done with them, but not done with them like I am now, my sister called and wanted to come by herself. That turned out, after like, an hour and a half conversation where things were just not right, to be because she wanted to "accidentally" run into a television producer vacationing in a city near where our house is.</p><p></p><p>I was so offended that she would trick me into an invitation ~ I mean, she had a standing invitation, but that long conversation first about how she needed time away, and how it had to be just these certain days, and was I sure those days were good for us, and all the justifications for all of that <em>and then, she mentions the stupid producer who might want another shot at creating a reality series out of my sister's life and I kid you not about that part. </em>When she might just have called me up and said: There is a television producer and blah blah. I would have said great, and gone with her to accidentally run into the producer, and what a coincidental thing that she just happened to be right where my sister was visiting her sister on the same exact days she was there, too.</p><p></p><p>But that tricking me part.</p><p></p><p>Roar.</p><p></p><p>That is the third blatantly worse thing my sister has done. First is what she did to my daughter. Second is the way I am seeing that she relishes seeing my kids instead of the way family circles the wagons when something bad happens. Third is this.</p><p></p><p>I forgot she did that.</p><p></p><p>roar whatever how rotten she is to me.</p><p></p><p>It makes me feel weak, to think about these terrible things.</p><p></p><p>They seem terrible, to me.</p><p></p><p>And they are terrible. Remember Serenity when you believed you must not have been abused really because your mom didn't hit you and mine did? This is the same kind of thing. My sister is not as terrible as yours have been to each of you. But what she did and what she does is so pointlessly, disgustingly hurtful.</p><p></p><p>Isn't that something, that she would play a game like that with me regarding that visit. </p><p></p><p>Know what I did? I had already assured her a million times that the days she wanted to come would be great. So I couldn't just say: Don't come you poop, though I wish I had.</p><p></p><p>But what I did do is call her back. I told her of course she could come, but I thought it was really cheap of her to have presented her visit as she had. and she started crying really loud and said she wasn't cheap and she could afford whatever and etc.</p><p></p><p>And I was like...didn't she hear me correctly?</p><p></p><p>And D H said: She heard you just fine. I'm proud of you.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what she did about the television producer. I do know she does not have a reality television show based on her family.</p><p></p><p>She better just hope I never get one.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>I had forgotten about that, Copa and Serenity.</p><p></p><p>That is why D H says I will be vulnerable to my sister if he is not here.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 666774, member: 17461"] Copa, it wasn't even our condo. Before we settled on Florida, we rented something on Padre Island that we found on the internet. Just to see whether we wanted to do Texas or Florida before we committed to Florida. That is what is so crazy wrong with it. The condo was rented sight unseen. It was beautiful. Two beds, two baths, balcony on the beach. Filled with original Mexican artists' work. Beautiful stuff, and so interesting a place to be. Mexican families ~ generations of Mexican families, around the pool in the evening. Everyone so gentle and loving to one another. We invited my parents, who were wintering in a city further up the coast, to come down. My mom said wouldn't it be nice to invite my sister, too. That meant there would not be room for my parents to stay with us, but my parents were close enough to drive home and my sister wasn't. So, my sister and her husband spent two nights there with us. And left early the next morning claiming whatever reason for why they needed to leave, and then, spent that time looking into condos further down the beach that were "better" than the one they had stayed in with us. And then, my sister told me they had done so. And I mean, what is there to be said about these kinds of things? I just said I was glad they liked the beach well enough to check it out. But I wasn't able to think very well, then. The kids were in such trouble, and I felt so badly about myself in those years. I am better, now. *** My mother has been in the house we then built in Florida, but my sister would never come there. Her husband and I had talked (because he was the only one who would pick up the phone for us when we called there ~ I have posted about that before) anyway, he and I were excited they were coming and talked about we will do thus and so when they come. But they never did come. By the time I was done with them, but not done with them like I am now, my sister called and wanted to come by herself. That turned out, after like, an hour and a half conversation where things were just not right, to be because she wanted to "accidentally" run into a television producer vacationing in a city near where our house is. I was so offended that she would trick me into an invitation ~ I mean, she had a standing invitation, but that long conversation first about how she needed time away, and how it had to be just these certain days, and was I sure those days were good for us, and all the justifications for all of that [I]and then, she mentions the stupid producer who might want another shot at creating a reality series out of my sister's life and I kid you not about that part. [/I]When she might just have called me up and said: There is a television producer and blah blah. I would have said great, and gone with her to accidentally run into the producer, and what a coincidental thing that she just happened to be right where my sister was visiting her sister on the same exact days she was there, too. But that tricking me part. Roar. That is the third blatantly worse thing my sister has done. First is what she did to my daughter. Second is the way I am seeing that she relishes seeing my kids instead of the way family circles the wagons when something bad happens. Third is this. I forgot she did that. roar whatever how rotten she is to me. It makes me feel weak, to think about these terrible things. They seem terrible, to me. And they are terrible. Remember Serenity when you believed you must not have been abused really because your mom didn't hit you and mine did? This is the same kind of thing. My sister is not as terrible as yours have been to each of you. But what she did and what she does is so pointlessly, disgustingly hurtful. Isn't that something, that she would play a game like that with me regarding that visit. Know what I did? I had already assured her a million times that the days she wanted to come would be great. So I couldn't just say: Don't come you poop, though I wish I had. But what I did do is call her back. I told her of course she could come, but I thought it was really cheap of her to have presented her visit as she had. and she started crying really loud and said she wasn't cheap and she could afford whatever and etc. And I was like...didn't she hear me correctly? And D H said: She heard you just fine. I'm proud of you. I don't know what she did about the television producer. I do know she does not have a reality television show based on her family. She better just hope I never get one. :O) I had forgotten about that, Copa and Serenity. That is why D H says I will be vulnerable to my sister if he is not here. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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