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Narcissistic personality disorder adult son
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 724760" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hello DS and welcome. I am so sorry for your aching mommas heart.</p><p> It is hard when the kids we raised grow up into adulthood and don’t have a clue how to be respectful to their parent. I think one of the best things I’ve read here on CD, is to remove the relationship part and ask yourself if you would allow a stranger, or friend to mistreat you in the same way. The answer is probably “heck no.” </p><p>The thing is, our adult children should be more respectful to us than anybody. </p><p>Period. </p><p>Why do we take abuse from our adult d cs? Your son has mistreated many others, who have cut ties with him. You keep the connection to him because you are his mother. Understandably, it is a terrible feeling to think our beloveds have nobody to rely on. It doesn’t mean that you have to coldly cut him out of your life permanently. Setting boundaries for you is important. You matter. He crosses the line. Not good for him, or for you. It becomes a burden for you, and he will continue to push and push, as long as you allow it. </p><p>There is a very good article on detachment on the PE forum page. Detachment doesn’t mean cutting our d cs off. It means to me that we begin to realize the relationship is unhealthy and we learn to shift focus on how to strengthen <em>ourselves</em>. To work towards peace within ourselves. We have no control over what another adult decides to do, but we can decide our level of involvement and learn how to create healthy boundaries so that we don’t get crushed emotionally. </p><p>Stress and despair is so very bad for our health. Life is short.</p><p>You don’t have to do anything, right this minute, DS, as far as your son goes. </p><p>Just take steps towards self care. Work hard at building yourself up, one small moment at a time. The answers will come. </p><p>You matter. Your peace and joy matter.</p><p>You are not alone.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 724760, member: 19522"] Hello DS and welcome. I am so sorry for your aching mommas heart. It is hard when the kids we raised grow up into adulthood and don’t have a clue how to be respectful to their parent. I think one of the best things I’ve read here on CD, is to remove the relationship part and ask yourself if you would allow a stranger, or friend to mistreat you in the same way. The answer is probably “heck no.” The thing is, our adult children should be more respectful to us than anybody. Period. Why do we take abuse from our adult d cs? Your son has mistreated many others, who have cut ties with him. You keep the connection to him because you are his mother. Understandably, it is a terrible feeling to think our beloveds have nobody to rely on. It doesn’t mean that you have to coldly cut him out of your life permanently. Setting boundaries for you is important. You matter. He crosses the line. Not good for him, or for you. It becomes a burden for you, and he will continue to push and push, as long as you allow it. There is a very good article on detachment on the PE forum page. Detachment doesn’t mean cutting our d cs off. It means to me that we begin to realize the relationship is unhealthy and we learn to shift focus on how to strengthen [I]ourselves[/I]. To work towards peace within ourselves. We have no control over what another adult decides to do, but we can decide our level of involvement and learn how to create healthy boundaries so that we don’t get crushed emotionally. Stress and despair is so very bad for our health. Life is short. You don’t have to do anything, right this minute, DS, as far as your son goes. Just take steps towards self care. Work hard at building yourself up, one small moment at a time. The answers will come. You matter. Your peace and joy matter. You are not alone. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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