I had another one of my endless "please stop, it's not about you" conversations with L today. I had a revelation. She's been horribly uncooperative in therapy throughout her life, and her diagnosis that I list here is old. Literally, I had texted her a question about a mutual acquaintance. She texted me back at least 40 times to tell me what a horrible person I was to ask a question (about this person who has been somewhat lazy and it wasn't that big of a deal but has gone on for awhile). In the end, I explained to her that she had to stop because I don't have a texting plan and I couldn't afford this. Bear in mind that her boyfriend let loose with a comment that she had gotten angry with him and sent him 143 texts one day and she thought that was normal and usual. He didn't and I don't. After she stopped, and I had some quiet time, it occurred to me how fantastic (and I mean that literally) this was. This was NOT a conversation about her. I told her this a number of times, apologized a number of times, asked her to stop a number of times. This has happened before. Anything and everything that she sees fault in with me is a major transgression against her, even when it has nothing to do with her. So, remembering that way back in the day her dad was diagnosis'd with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I looked it up. A person with narcissistic personality disorder: Reacts to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation Takes advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals Has feelings of self-importance Exaggerates achievements and talents Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment Requires constant attention and admiration Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy Has obsessive self-interest Pursues mainly selfish goals. How many of our adult kids do you think this fits? I know it fits one I know very well.