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Parent Emeritus
Navigating the roller coaster with difficult child son and impending grandbaby
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649297" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>The day is young. It is unlikely she WILL stay with your son. She already left one babydaddy. Although it's a good idea to try to stay on her good side to keep in touch with your grandchild, she may not decide to keep in touch if/after t hey break up. She does have a family, apparently, and they will come first. There is no way to enforce grandparents rights if you live in the U.S. Neither parent has to allow the child to see his grandparents. I just don't want you to get your hopes up and get hurt. You'll have a better shot with your older child when she finally has a child than you will with this one. Something has to be "off" about this woman to want a younger man who is on drugs so I can't personally trust HER stability either.</p><p></p><p>Remember, actions speak louder than words. People make promises all the time and don't keep them. See what she does, not just what she says.</p><p></p><p>If she has her own place, her own car, a good job and nice things, why did both of them, her included, come to work crying? If she makes good money, why were the lights turned off?</p><p></p><p>Don't overlook those red flags. That's a big one. Where is her money going? Are you sure she isn't using drugs too? She may not tell you. Or she could be funding son's drug habit. If not, she should be able to take care of the electric bill. Something doesn't add up and it is unlikely she is going to be honest about where her money went if it was not spent in a good way.</p><p></p><p>Going to church means nothing. Many people go to church and don't really live it or believe it. Manipulators are very good at using church to try to look good. It doesn't change who they are. Don't put too much emphasis on that unless he is talking the talk and walking the walk and you see him develop a code of morals.</p><p></p><p>Again, I don't want you to get overly excited, then devestated. Remember who you are dealing with and I hope everything works out for you, but be prepared for surprises, bumps, manipulation (son) and lots and lots of unknowns.</p><p></p><p>by the way, every time my difficult honeybun has a new girlfriend (they always leave because he can't hide who he is forever), I always want to tell them to head for the hills so I know how that feels. Of course, I don't...it's none of my business, but I think my son is better off alone.</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649297, member: 1550"] The day is young. It is unlikely she WILL stay with your son. She already left one babydaddy. Although it's a good idea to try to stay on her good side to keep in touch with your grandchild, she may not decide to keep in touch if/after t hey break up. She does have a family, apparently, and they will come first. There is no way to enforce grandparents rights if you live in the U.S. Neither parent has to allow the child to see his grandparents. I just don't want you to get your hopes up and get hurt. You'll have a better shot with your older child when she finally has a child than you will with this one. Something has to be "off" about this woman to want a younger man who is on drugs so I can't personally trust HER stability either. Remember, actions speak louder than words. People make promises all the time and don't keep them. See what she does, not just what she says. If she has her own place, her own car, a good job and nice things, why did both of them, her included, come to work crying? If she makes good money, why were the lights turned off? Don't overlook those red flags. That's a big one. Where is her money going? Are you sure she isn't using drugs too? She may not tell you. Or she could be funding son's drug habit. If not, she should be able to take care of the electric bill. Something doesn't add up and it is unlikely she is going to be honest about where her money went if it was not spent in a good way. Going to church means nothing. Many people go to church and don't really live it or believe it. Manipulators are very good at using church to try to look good. It doesn't change who they are. Don't put too much emphasis on that unless he is talking the talk and walking the walk and you see him develop a code of morals. Again, I don't want you to get overly excited, then devestated. Remember who you are dealing with and I hope everything works out for you, but be prepared for surprises, bumps, manipulation (son) and lots and lots of unknowns. by the way, every time my difficult honeybun has a new girlfriend (they always leave because he can't hide who he is forever), I always want to tell them to head for the hills so I know how that feels. Of course, I don't...it's none of my business, but I think my son is better off alone. Hugs!!!!! [/QUOTE]
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Navigating the roller coaster with difficult child son and impending grandbaby
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