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Substance Abuse
Nearly 4 months on.......
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<blockquote data-quote="Lost in sadness" data-source="post: 721308" data-attributes="member: 21056"><p><strong>Albatross</strong>, you are so right! As I was writing, my instinct was saying "don't write yet, its too early to breath a sigh of relief". I didn't expect it to end as it did last night though!</p><p></p><p><strong>Susiestar, </strong>yes he needs to grow up. In some respects he is mature but in others, when things are not how he wants them, he just appears to lose control. I love him, he is my son, but I do always feel on edge around him still and I can't seem to shake the feeling.</p><p>I feel he should move home because he 'deserves to', because that is the reason he has made the change, because he is still young and wants/needs his family, because how can I say 'no', because it would be a great end and success story for him to do so. Deep down though, do I REALLY want it...no. That hurts me and I feel guilty and sad that I feel that way.</p><p></p><p><strong>SWOT </strong>I know he is still buying weed. I am not sure he intends to change that although I wish he would. It annoys me how he goes out drinking and seeing girls and spending all his money without a care for the trouble he will be causing by not dealing with the issues that remain outstanding. He is seeking counseling to deal with the anger and sadness of how his life ended up but I still firmly believe he blames us and truly believes that we did this to him. I still find myself explaining what REALLY happened but he is usually shouting over me with things like "will it ever be enough for you, Im really trying, Ive worked so hard etc etc". I know this is true but the point he appears to miss is that he is doing this to get himself out of the sh*t HE caused himself.</p><p></p><p>I am thrilled he has a job he loves, I am pleased he is out of the homeless hostel, it is real progress but he believes he has done enough to come home now and I feel I am dragging him down and hurting him but not allowing it but my instinct just says no.</p><p></p><p>Still so hard......and yesterday when I first wrote I thought it was because it was positive. As I write I realise that just parts of it are positive. Thank you all. xx</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lost in sadness, post: 721308, member: 21056"] [B]Albatross[/B], you are so right! As I was writing, my instinct was saying "don't write yet, its too early to breath a sigh of relief". I didn't expect it to end as it did last night though! [B]Susiestar, [/B]yes he needs to grow up. In some respects he is mature but in others, when things are not how he wants them, he just appears to lose control. I love him, he is my son, but I do always feel on edge around him still and I can't seem to shake the feeling. I feel he should move home because he 'deserves to', because that is the reason he has made the change, because he is still young and wants/needs his family, because how can I say 'no', because it would be a great end and success story for him to do so. Deep down though, do I REALLY want it...no. That hurts me and I feel guilty and sad that I feel that way. [B]SWOT [/B]I know he is still buying weed. I am not sure he intends to change that although I wish he would. It annoys me how he goes out drinking and seeing girls and spending all his money without a care for the trouble he will be causing by not dealing with the issues that remain outstanding. He is seeking counseling to deal with the anger and sadness of how his life ended up but I still firmly believe he blames us and truly believes that we did this to him. I still find myself explaining what REALLY happened but he is usually shouting over me with things like "will it ever be enough for you, Im really trying, Ive worked so hard etc etc". I know this is true but the point he appears to miss is that he is doing this to get himself out of the sh*t HE caused himself. I am thrilled he has a job he loves, I am pleased he is out of the homeless hostel, it is real progress but he believes he has done enough to come home now and I feel I am dragging him down and hurting him but not allowing it but my instinct just says no. Still so hard......and yesterday when I first wrote I thought it was because it was positive. As I write I realise that just parts of it are positive. Thank you all. xx [/QUOTE]
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