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Substance Abuse
Nearly 4 months on.......
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 721497" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>22 year old men do not like to live at home uless it is to benefit their buying power, often drugs. Adults feel loved even out of the house. Did you want to be in your parents home at 22? Why or why not? I cant speak for anyone else, but I was eager to leave at 16. It is not normal for adults to want to be cocooned and taken care of by family. They are eager to start their own lives.</p><p></p><p>If your son comes home....more money for drugs. More responsibility he doesnt have to take. Less growing. Mom may cook or do laundry or buy him things, since he is there. It is easy.</p><p></p><p>They need to survive away from us in my opinion. Your son may be playing homesick just to pull at your heartstrings when what he really wants is what is easiest.</p><p></p><p>Ten year olds want to go home. They need our care, our loving arms, our guidance. Twenty year olds in my opinion want to come to us because they dont want to grow up. They want a roof and comfort without working. The mommy role is hard for us to give up when they are with us...so they bask in being a child again (and get angry if we have adult expetations) and we in turn become that mommy who needs to set our child on the right path...yet still do mommy things. Mixed messages. We clash. It is not good.</p><p></p><p>I feel it is way better if they know they have to make it as an adults. Also, one year of sobriety may seem like he has it licked, but I think it is more like five years. And he will have to be careful for the rest of his life. I dont think he knows that yet.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and stop the guilt. Guilt should not rent a room in your head. You are doing nothing but trying to launch him into clean and sober adulthood.</p><p></p><p>Only living in the real world will show you if Son has a sober mindset.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 721497, member: 1550"] 22 year old men do not like to live at home uless it is to benefit their buying power, often drugs. Adults feel loved even out of the house. Did you want to be in your parents home at 22? Why or why not? I cant speak for anyone else, but I was eager to leave at 16. It is not normal for adults to want to be cocooned and taken care of by family. They are eager to start their own lives. If your son comes home....more money for drugs. More responsibility he doesnt have to take. Less growing. Mom may cook or do laundry or buy him things, since he is there. It is easy. They need to survive away from us in my opinion. Your son may be playing homesick just to pull at your heartstrings when what he really wants is what is easiest. Ten year olds want to go home. They need our care, our loving arms, our guidance. Twenty year olds in my opinion want to come to us because they dont want to grow up. They want a roof and comfort without working. The mommy role is hard for us to give up when they are with us...so they bask in being a child again (and get angry if we have adult expetations) and we in turn become that mommy who needs to set our child on the right path...yet still do mommy things. Mixed messages. We clash. It is not good. I feel it is way better if they know they have to make it as an adults. Also, one year of sobriety may seem like he has it licked, but I think it is more like five years. And he will have to be careful for the rest of his life. I dont think he knows that yet. Hugs and stop the guilt. Guilt should not rent a room in your head. You are doing nothing but trying to launch him into clean and sober adulthood. Only living in the real world will show you if Son has a sober mindset. [/QUOTE]
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