mstang67chic
Going Green
http://news.aol.com/article/law-lets-nebraska-parents-leave-teens/145243
I'm not sure what I think about this.
I'm not sure what I think about this.
Nebraska safe haven law
- Thread starter mstang67chic
- Start date
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Well dang...where was this law a few years ago? I would have moved to Nebraska! I always wanted to know where the return line was for this gift I was given...lol.
I am not at all sure what I think about this. I do think it might give parents who are being abused by their under-age children an option other than pressing charges against the child. But it sends a very bad message: I can get rid of you whenever I want, OR Be wary if mommy or daddy takes you to the hospital - you might not ever get to come home?
I just don't know what the purpose is in having it apply to older children and teens. I know we tried SO many avenues to find help with Wiz. Even pressing charges was not a real option because the sheriff refused to process the paperwork and the judge refused to let us fill out paperwork to press charges. And this was for serious physical abuse of me by a child who was bigger than I was.
But I strongly doubt that parents in the situation we were in are who the lawmakers were thinking about.
I think of all the kids who cry when going to the pediatrician because their parents say that if the kid isn't well behaved then mom or dad will have doctor give htem a shot. Imagine the way the child would feel about hte hospital??
I just don't know what the purpose is in having it apply to older children and teens. I know we tried SO many avenues to find help with Wiz. Even pressing charges was not a real option because the sheriff refused to process the paperwork and the judge refused to let us fill out paperwork to press charges. And this was for serious physical abuse of me by a child who was bigger than I was.
But I strongly doubt that parents in the situation we were in are who the lawmakers were thinking about.
I think of all the kids who cry when going to the pediatrician because their parents say that if the kid isn't well behaved then mom or dad will have doctor give htem a shot. Imagine the way the child would feel about hte hospital??
I think I am going to move to Nebraska with my two kids. And when is husband considered? Can we go by years of marriage for his age? (Oh wait, he still doesn't qualify)
Just kidding! I had better stay as far away from there as I can get - I may do something I regret in one of those not-so-favorite moments. I may have done this with easy child when she was about 11 - 12 years old if I knew it was an option.
I can see where it would be helpful to have a safe haven for kids. However, I really think the best thing for the child is the parents asking for help, not abandoning their kid. The parent needs to be able to find someone to give info so that they can make the decisions of medications, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), etc.
A problem would be that parents don't want to admit they need help and would rather have a way to just walk away.
Maybe there needs to be more promoting of help for parents. Not everyone knows what resources are available to help difficult children. I know I didn't know where to start when easy child was being a difficult child. I couldn't stand her anymore. Wouldn't it be great if all new parents had to attend a class on community resources before leaving the hospital? A pamplet on where to turn and what criteria is needed for certain things (like head start - what is needed to get accepted)? And this phamplet could be sent home each year that school starte?
I guess I am not sure what to think either. Very sad if ever used.
Just kidding! I had better stay as far away from there as I can get - I may do something I regret in one of those not-so-favorite moments. I may have done this with easy child when she was about 11 - 12 years old if I knew it was an option.
I can see where it would be helpful to have a safe haven for kids. However, I really think the best thing for the child is the parents asking for help, not abandoning their kid. The parent needs to be able to find someone to give info so that they can make the decisions of medications, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), etc.
A problem would be that parents don't want to admit they need help and would rather have a way to just walk away.
Maybe there needs to be more promoting of help for parents. Not everyone knows what resources are available to help difficult children. I know I didn't know where to start when easy child was being a difficult child. I couldn't stand her anymore. Wouldn't it be great if all new parents had to attend a class on community resources before leaving the hospital? A pamplet on where to turn and what criteria is needed for certain things (like head start - what is needed to get accepted)? And this phamplet could be sent home each year that school starte?
I guess I am not sure what to think either. Very sad if ever used.
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mrscatinthehat
Seussical
Well I have a feeling I may be in the minority here but I am somewhat in favor of this. But of course the way I see it is if a parent can't do what needs done this is a way for the children to be safe and taken care of. I can't say how it will work and I can't say it will work but I kind of agree with the adage of if it saves one life then it is worth it. I mean I would much rather know that a child could be dropped off than have that child go through who knows what. Not just abuse but things like extreme poverty. This gives some parents an opportunity to not be looked down on if they hit a path they can't come back from.
beth
beth
KTMom91
Well-Known Member
I can see where this law could be helpful, as Beth said, for those parents who are out of options. But the potential for abuse of this law is staggering. While there were times I wanted to ship Miss KT off to Outer Slawbovia, what I really wanted was some HELP. What happens if a child is dropped off in a parent's fit of anger? Does he just go home when the parent cools down? If so, the underlying problem hasn't been addressed.
I don't know what side of the fence I'm on with this one.
I don't know what side of the fence I'm on with this one.
klmno
Active Member
I think I would prefer to see "safe-haven respite" instead of abandonment. Maybe this exists but I tend to think it only exists in theory (on paper). If there was a place and way where a parent who had reached their limit could drop a kid off for a weekend and just take a break, maybe they could have resources there to help point the right direction to the parent and family if things had really gotten to a point where a long-term solution was needed. They probably say this is why we have social services so I guess I'm being too idealistic to think a place could run smoother than that.
donna723
Well-Known Member
"White said it doesn't matter if that child is an infant or three years old or in the care of a parent or baby sitter...."
"... it technically allows anyone, not just a parent, to legally surrender custody."
Does this really mean what it says right there in plain English? Are there loopholes in this law that could allow your babysitter, the grandparents, or even your next-door neighbor to "surrender" custody of your child to authorities? How could someone "surrender custody" of a child who doesn't HAVE custody of that child?
I can see the point in this law, if it's thought of as just an extension of the laws that allow newborns to be dropped off that otherwise might come to harm. But older children? Even teenagers? There are other legal avenues that can be taken rather than just dropping them off like dogs at the pound!
And if this law would permit someone who doesn't even have custody to "surrender" a child to authorities, that almost sounds like a joke! Neighbors kid being a pain in the rear? Just wait till they're not looking, snatch him up, and "surrender" him! Surely I'm reading this wrong!
"... it technically allows anyone, not just a parent, to legally surrender custody."
Does this really mean what it says right there in plain English? Are there loopholes in this law that could allow your babysitter, the grandparents, or even your next-door neighbor to "surrender" custody of your child to authorities? How could someone "surrender custody" of a child who doesn't HAVE custody of that child?
I can see the point in this law, if it's thought of as just an extension of the laws that allow newborns to be dropped off that otherwise might come to harm. But older children? Even teenagers? There are other legal avenues that can be taken rather than just dropping them off like dogs at the pound!
And if this law would permit someone who doesn't even have custody to "surrender" a child to authorities, that almost sounds like a joke! Neighbors kid being a pain in the rear? Just wait till they're not looking, snatch him up, and "surrender" him! Surely I'm reading this wrong!
Donna,
I tihnk this is why this law will be a problem. You don't have to be a parent. I am not sure HOW you would track your child down if someone else dropped them off. I can see a need for more streamlined services, for more services, but for THIS service? Not sure it is a good thing.
I tihnk this is why this law will be a problem. You don't have to be a parent. I am not sure HOW you would track your child down if someone else dropped them off. I can see a need for more streamlined services, for more services, but for THIS service? Not sure it is a good thing.
donna723
Well-Known Member
So, theoretically, this law would even allow the SCHOOLS to round up all their problem students or the ones whose parents they have had conflicts with and just "surrender" them! Just round 'em up and ship 'em off ... to where? I keep picturing the island full of "Lost Boys" like in Peter pan!
This has a HUGE potential for some HUGE problems down the road! Especially if the schools were allowed to get in to it!
This has a HUGE potential for some HUGE problems down the road! Especially if the schools were allowed to get in to it!
DDD
Well-Known Member
Obviously there are lots of possible misuses of this law but...I think it is great that the protection of children is supported in Nebraska. There is no way that a child can be relinquished by someone who is not the legal guardian or custodian of the child. Yes, there will probably be alot of problems that arise as they fine tune the law. on the other hand, I would hope that
older children could "turn themselves in" and be assured of safety.
My guess is that it will rarely be implemented but that some lives will be saved by having the option available.
I don't know if they still have temporary drop-off sites in any cities but at one time there were some hospitals where you could walk in with your child and take off for a few hours to cool down. The centers were happy places with toys, snacks etc. for the kids. Had there been one in my town when I was raising GFGmom I would have driven there a few times
when I really, really, really though I might snap from the stress. DDD
older children could "turn themselves in" and be assured of safety.
My guess is that it will rarely be implemented but that some lives will be saved by having the option available.
I don't know if they still have temporary drop-off sites in any cities but at one time there were some hospitals where you could walk in with your child and take off for a few hours to cool down. The centers were happy places with toys, snacks etc. for the kids. Had there been one in my town when I was raising GFGmom I would have driven there a few times
when I really, really, really though I might snap from the stress. DDD
muttmeister
Well-Known Member
I live in Nebraska and I have to admit that, while I have heard a little about this law, I wasn't really sure of what it said. I'm not totally sure about what I think about this law. Although there were times I might have liked to drop one or both of my kids off theoretically, I can't imagine actually doing it even in a fit of temper. I kinda think that if it has reached the point where a parent is able psychologically to actually do that, maybe it's not such a bad idea for a separation.
It is also worth noting the the average size of a town in Nebraska is somewhere around 300 people (that statistic just came out last week; I am not making it up). Things that apply in a rural environment are not necessarily things that apply in an urban environment. You are not likely to lose track of your child in any circumstance, considering that almowt everybody in a radius of 50 miles knows the kid, the parent, and the problems. Services here for problem kids are almost nonexistent unless you live in one of the two decent sized cities in the eastern part of the state.
I'm sure this law needs some work and some refining but I'm not sure it is a bad idea.
It is also worth noting the the average size of a town in Nebraska is somewhere around 300 people (that statistic just came out last week; I am not making it up). Things that apply in a rural environment are not necessarily things that apply in an urban environment. You are not likely to lose track of your child in any circumstance, considering that almowt everybody in a radius of 50 miles knows the kid, the parent, and the problems. Services here for problem kids are almost nonexistent unless you live in one of the two decent sized cities in the eastern part of the state.
I'm sure this law needs some work and some refining but I'm not sure it is a bad idea.
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