Need Advice--newbie here

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by lovemychocolate, Jan 10, 2009.

  1. lovemychocolate

    lovemychocolate New Member

    My just turned 8 year old son started showing signs of ODD around age 6. He started showing blatant defiance in various situations like to go to the store with- mom or dad, or some mornings he didn't want to go to school. We thought we merely had a willful child. These same situations progressed from ds whining to him screaming and crying and hiding somehwhere in the house. Sometimes he'd cry or scream for hours non-stop. I timed it once, but just learned to deal with it. He started being noticably mean to his little sister and his older brother. He hated when his little sister sang in the car. That would start him on a screaming episode.

    We moved out of state when ds was 7 and while he liked school, he started acting out in the new school. This was new. This progressed to him refusinng to participate in school period. He would hide in his cubbie until found. Some days the teacher would let him sit under her desk or in a handmade tent. He would go there when he was frustrated or overwhelmed. I had no idea what was wrong. I thought this was ds way of acting out for moving from the home he loved. The school asked for a meeting and they came up with a reward sheet that I would do at home. (yeah, now I see how little they wanted to do.)

    FF to today, we took our son to a private psychologist and wasn't pleased with this man. I wasn't impressed with his lack luster approach. husband is very relucant to go though another psychologist again. I read Dr. Greene's book, "The Explosive Child" and found it fascinating. Fit my son to a T. I did submit an email to set up for a consult with him, by the way.

    BUT, what I'm wondering now is how to proceed with the school. From what I've read now and what I understand is that I can ask that my son be tested in order to get an iep. Is that correct?? Can I do this verbally, or does it need to be sent certified mail??

    What type of testing should I expect to be done on my son? What should I look for in an iep? Who is involved in creating an iep?
    Thanks for reading and any advice you have.:anxious:
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good Morning!

    A few questions first. Did the psychologist make any suggestions for dealing with your son's school isses? Did he refer or offer further testing to see if his diagnosis was correct? Odd rarely is a diagnosis that stands alone. It usually refers to a series of behavior issues that accompany other dxs. How does your son do academically in school?

    Certainly you could verbally request testing for you son from the school. I did, but I was fortunate enough to have a team and a school that was interested in helping my son. But, sending the request by certified letter is the optimal way. It starts a paper trail that can become important later. The school has ten days to acknowledge and respond to your request.

    The school will call a meeting and you will have to sign off on each individual test they intend to give your son. The school cannot give any test to your son without your permission.

    In regards to testing, here's some reading for you:
    and specifcally in regards to writing an iep and testing:

    Another thing to do would be to take some time and read the Special Education archives. There is a wealth of information in regards to this process. Every time I have an IEP review or such, I go to the archives and "reup" and remind!

    In regards to what specifically needs to be in your son's IEP - that's difficult. An IEP is just what is indicates - individually catered to the needs of your son. Certainly there are some basic goals and modifications that relate to particular dxs or disabilities. But waiting until there is a better understanding of what your son is going through is best.

    Good luck and welcome to the site!

  3. lovemychocolate

    lovemychocolate New Member

    "Did the psychologist make any suggestions for dealing with your son's school isses? Did he refer or offer further testing to see if his diagnosis was correct? Odd rarely is a diagnosis that stands alone. It usually refers to a series of behavior issues that accompany other dxs. How does your son do academically in school?"

    -The psychiatric. suggested a sticker sheet at home--I had told him we did this when ds was 5 and 6 and he was too old for it. Testing?? He said he was doing testing in the psychiatric. sessions, but wasn't specific. The sessions involved playing uno, mouse trap, and other board games with- him and ds. I sat outside the office until the last 10 or 15 minutes. I was brought in again and played another board game with the both of them. I had zero time for dialogue with- the psychiatric. I do understand there the idea of game play therapy, but the psychiatric. seemed to treat my son as if he merely needed more parental discipline.

    I had left a phone message for the psychiatric. asking him if he had any input to give me. I was needing something to bring to the school in order to get any services for my ds. That day we had a session and at the end of it he gave me an apt. reminder and below he wrote some possible diagnosis: add/adhd; odd, and then he wrote: monitor for bipolar. He said I oculd take that to the school. I looked at him in disbelief about the bipolar and qualifing it with "monitor for"

    I know that my son is not bipolar and after reading Dr. Greene's book, "The Explosive Child" he specifically says that if the only time a child looks bipolar is when he's having a meltdown, then that's not bipolar.

    Academically, my son gets stuck alot. He has the ability to sit and do work, he get iritated alot from other student's and gets frustrated easily. When he does do work, it's great. He often refuses to do writing and reading though.

    I have also read that odd rarely occurs alone. I don't think the add/adhd is a fit either. What are the other possible combo's with- odd? Ds isn't physical with- others or himself. He's super smart in some areas, but average or just below in others--somewhat typical, eh?

    Thanks for input.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I don't usually come to this forum, but today I I read your post. How about Aspergers Syndrome/high functioning autism? Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist? I doubt School Psychologist has the know-how or smarts to diagnose it. At least we had no luck with our school districts. They seemed to hire everyone who couldn't get a job anywhere How was his early development? Does he obsess? Can he transition? Does he get along well with same-age peers? Make good eye contact?
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    There are sample letters in the Sp Ed Archives you can use to get the evaluation process started. Do not limit the evaluation in any way.

    Just a thought. While reading your post, it struck me that your child continually tries to insulate himself from stimuli. Any chance he is too easily overstimulated by the environment? If so, you may want to look at sensory issues. This type evaluation is done via an Occupational Therapist with-a subspecialty in Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).
  6. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    The school office has the forms to request the testing for IEP quaification.
    you ask for it and they are required to give it to you. They will. If they for some reason do not contact the superintents office for your district and say that you asked for this and you want the form as soon as possible.

    There is a booklet or a pamphlet they also will have at the school that has alot of information that you will later recieve at each meeting with the IEP or 504 meeting to follow. Read it thoroughly.

    Feel free to call the school district and DOE anytime you wish and speak with the district and state heads. Your childs needs and what are solutions for this are important and you will learn alot. I found these people were more than helpful and over the years have been there been there been there. When parents give a @#%$ their job is SO MUCH EASIER. Your pro-active pursute of what your child needs to learn is music to their ears.
    (if you are not so lucky it is still THEIR JOB)

    On one hand for young children integrating into school is something that teachers are clearly doing. Allowing a child to withdraw under a desk or into a tent in the classroom is actually a very thoughtful teacher, I think. this
    is why I think that. Young children who are not adjusting to the stymulation of the demands of a classroom, but are not rejected either, are given the oppertunity to take in the routeen and have space, too.

    The simple reward system is very good as well as it is action possitive and allows this reluctant child to be encouraged to do what is desired from him
    and recieve possitive attention: a reward point, bean, star, ect.

    The lack luster child psyciatrist meeting your child for the first time is primarily establishing a non-threatening environment for a child patient.
    Taking a nuetral stance seems to me to be a shrewed tactic given this child has shown himself to be highly reactive to change.

    Attention deficiet Hyperactivity Disorder was once call kinetic....currently there is discussion going to change the diagnosis again to "impulse disorder"
    It is the frontal lobe that acts as the filter for impulses and is the part of the brain that considers what to do BEFOR doing it.

    The high jix your child has adopted at home: the acting out and the whinning and the wildchild unwilling to go out the house are the kinds of behavior that a youngster learns to protect themself from the demands of a parent. It is like the infant who learns to get their needs met by crying really really really hard and loud and then for the slightest need goes directly to the cry that works the fastest.

    I have yet to read Explosive Child, i want to , I will first chance I get. One book I did read and offers some great tips for families with differant types of people is "The Spirited Child" in which the lessons for how to help the jouney includes meathods for preparing a child for what is on the agenda today and giving them the time and oppertunity to adjust and learn to plan how to make the transitions with your help.

    Another title that has served me well is 'Help my special needs child" which is all about the language used in the iep and around the child who has learning issues that are unique to them.

    The behavior you are sharing about is actually showing that your child does learn. In fact he is creative and effective. Your job as a parent is to act to
    give him the self control tools to feel safe with the world around him and engage in this life appropriately and with confidence. To do that you have to learn to be there for him differantly than with a child who models his behavior after the templet of others. That is the guenious of adhd thinkers you are tangling with. They are very quick learners. Hense although he is six and you are a mature adult he is the controlling factor around which your family is tethered like a horse.

    You are on the right track, though. Out number him, out wit him, get down deep into the details that are true to his nature and you will turn his life around with the care and love and struggle that HEllen KEllers teachers enjoyed.

    It is a journey and it is so so worth it.