need advice on 5 yr old with multiple diganoses

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by thumper1973, Aug 5, 2011.

  1. thumper1973

    thumper1973 New Member

    first let me say that I am new to form postings so forgive me if I have posted in the wrong area.
    I have a very sweet active 5 yr old who starts kindergarten in two weeks. She has been diganosed with a range of disorders over the past several years. It is frusting to me as a parent that my daughter has so issues, however she is very smart and understands when we go in for a test and can turn on the charm.
    She has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, meets the markers for Combative disorder, generalized anexity, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), aspergers, and now they are saying possibly bi-polar.
    When she is one on one with someone she does wonderful, group settings depends on her mood. She has thrown chairs, stabbed, kicked the hole spectrum when it comes to behaviors when she is having a fit.

    Short and sweet of it all, I am frustrated that I am told that one I am a bad parent, I may not be the greatest in the world but I feel that I take good care of my children. I have been told that her behaviors is due to the age difference between her and her sister, there is 9 yrs. I divorsed the kids father when my youngest was a year old, I have been told that is the cause of her behavior.

    It has been suggested to me now by a developmental peditrican who we have been trying to get and see that my child is a lost cause and after months of being on the waitng list for an appointment, I am now told that they will not see her. We have seen multiple psychologist each one with a different opinion, we have a thearpist we see each week, plus a medication doctor who has yet a whole different opion.
    I guess I am looking to see if anyone else has had a simular struggle with their child and trying and getting help for them.
    Many times I am given the answer more medications, we already are on some but i am told give her more medications when she is aggressive and that does not help the problem.
    Any suggestions would be wonderful
    Thank you and God Bless
  2. keista

    keista New Member

    Welcome to the board!

    First and foremost, this is NOT your fault. Anyone who tries to tell you it is ignorant. If they think they can do better, have them take your child for a week or two, they'll see.

    Second, the developmental pediatrician who said your child is a "lost cause" is a quack and should have his license revoked! At 5 years of age NO child is a lost cause.

    Finding the right help is a huge struggle for many of us. Fortunately, while you are out searching, you can learn about some of the dxes and start doing things TODAY to help your child. There is a wealth of information on ADHD and Aspergers. If these dxes are correct, and you understand how your child's brain is functioning, how your child perceives the world, you can start changing the way you do and approach things.

    I focused on the ADHD and Aspergers because all the others can be symptoms of the two. As a matter of fact, ADHD CAN be a symptom of Aspergers as well as a stand alone diagnosis.

    The school can also be very helpful at identifying issues. How is she doing there? Request and IEP (if you don't already have one). They will do evaluations as well, and while they can't diagnosis, their evaluations will give more clues as to what is going on.

    You, my dear, are at the very beginning of a very long road. Start with what you have and work from there. Educate yourself so you can help your daugther. this will also lead to learning more and better questions to ask when looking for help and/or explaining things to the professionals.

    Sometimes, our kids just need time. Yes, medications and therapy, but lots and lots of time to develop and better express themselves so we have a better insight as to what is going on. What we see is not always an accurate reflection of what they are going through.


    Welcome again. You've found a great place for support, insights and guidance.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I agree with keista. All of these other disorders can be seen in children with Asperger's. At least they can in my son. Check more into that and see if it fits.

    My son does the same thing. Still fits with the Asperger's. The level of aggression depends on how far beyond his limits he's PUSHED.

    Horse-Pucky. You are obviously talking to ignorant idiots. If she has been given all those diagnoses, I would love for ANYONE to find any kind of research anywhere that shows parents, age difference, or divorce can cause dysfunction in the BRAIN.

    If the pediatrician said "she's a lost cause" without ever seeing her, I would report him to the Medical Ethics board. They are a QUACK. Look for a neuropsychiatrist/neuropsychologist or a child psychiatrist. Why have you seen so many psychologists if she's only 5? Is the therapist helping? What is the medication doctor's "opinion"? You need to have a PROPER evaluation done soon.

    Welcome to our little corner of the world. You have DEFINITELY come to the right place. There is a LOT of experience here. Others will come along. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}
    I guess I am looking to see if anyone else has had a simular struggle with their child and trying and getting help for them.
    Many times I am given the answer more medications, we already are on some but i am told give her more medications when she is aggressive and that does not help the problem.
    Any suggestions would be wonderful
    Thank you and God Bless[/QUOTE]
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Certain dxes are "killer" dxes... as in, they override (or "kill") all sorts of other dxes. Both Asperger's AND Bi-Polar are killer dxes. All of the other dxes you are listing would definitely fall into either or both of those.

    You need a psychiatrist or therapist who takes Asperger's and Bi-Polar very seriously.
    Sometimes, certain specialists are so specialized that they only see a narrow range of patients... and yours might not fall under their particular umbrella... and no, they usually do not have anything else to suggest. And yes, its a total PITB.

    Try and see if you can get access to one of these...
    - neuropsychologist
    - doctoral psychologist (PhD level - usually more open to digging, researching, figuring out the whole picture)
    - child psychiatrist with an interest specifically in Asperger's and/or bi-polar

    The approach would be to explain that you are getting conflicting and/or overlapping dxes, medications are ineffective, and the situation is getting worse. You need:
    - fresh round of testing
    - new approach to solving the issues

    Good luck...!

    p.s. medications are a tricky thing... When they work well, we can't imagine life without them. When they don't work well, or don't work, or multiply the problems - the fix can be anything from no medications to more medications to different medications to different timing of medications to combination of medications... so, just because medications aren't working and you're stuck working with turkeys instead of doctors, don't write ALL medications solutions off... just be VERY careful until you find a specialist who is thorough and prepared to work with you until you get to the bottom of this.
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Oh, yes - one more thing to try as an alternative to neuropsychologist etc...

    See if there's a Child Behavioral Clinic in your area, or a Child Developmental Clinic. These take a team approach, and specialize in difficult cases. Usually associated with a teaching university or teaching hospital.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I usually agree with Insane, but since you live in the US, I'd skip the behavioral therapists. In the US, they usually mean that they tell you a method, s uch as a sticker chart, and inevitably it fails and you haven't gained anything. Also, anyone who tells you that she is this way because you are a 'bad parent" needs to go back to school and learn that this is outdated thinking. I'd disregard it AND anyone who says it.

    I would take her to a neuropsychologist. They do intensive testing 6-10 hours. You have only gone to therapists...they are not qualified to diagnose, which is probably why they threw the book at your daughter. It could well be that all she has is Aspergers and the other behaviors are because of the Aspergers. I'd go easy on the bipolar diagnosis. simply because the medications used to control it are extremely hardcore and she may not have it.

    My son was wrongly diagnosed with bipolar when he had autistic spectrum disorder. Please be careful and do see a neuropsychologist. Teaching hospitals ARE a great place to find neuropsychs as well as children's hospitals.

    Also, keep us posted as to your progress and welcome to the board :)
  7. thumper1973

    thumper1973 New Member

    Thank you everyone for the advice, it has been helpful.

    A little more about us. My daughter was first evulated by the state mental health group and attendend their pshcosocial group for almost 9 months and with medications did wonderful. They then decided that she no longer needed group and that is when things went down hill about a year ago. Their psychiatric re-evulated her and said that she was doing fine, there was a medication change and that new combo does not seem to be the best fit. My daughter has since been discharged from the state mental health group stating she has exceeded the time limit and there is nothing more that can be done. We have had the same play thearpist now since we started this journey 3 years ago.
    We have had another updated psychiatric evaluation but have not been scheduled for any type of testing beyound the first consult.
    As to an IEP since she is so academic a head, no IEP she was able to maintain most of the school year in pre k simpley because we knew the teacher and it was a small setting, however after she felt very comfortable there about the last 9 weeks, she had lots of problems.
    The school wants to do a wait and see approach for her this year instead of getting her help, I have contacted an advocaey group to help.

    Plus side we have gotten into the nurgelosit for an eeg and things on monday, so that is good.
    Also she is having tubes put in her ears later in the week (i really hope this helps some), she has needed these since she was an infant but the docs did not seem to think along those same rountes.

    Once again thank you all for the support. I will keep you all updated on our journey
  8. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! One thing that I would like to throw in here is the possibility of sensory issues. Have you ever noticed that she has issues with certain sounds, smells, textures of food or certain types of clothing? These could be causing some of the melt downs. I'd look for a referral to get an Occupational Therapy evaluation...there are a variety of different things that they might be able to put in place to help her not get over stimulated.

    Welcome to the crowd! It's a great group that has a vast amount of experience and big shoulders to lean on.

    And by the way, if you were a rotten mom, you wouldn't be digging around on the internet trying to find solutions...just sayin'! :consoling:

  9. thumper1973

    thumper1973 New Member

    Sensory issues was the orginal diagnosis when she was 19 months old. She gets very over stimulated at the drop of a hat, I can usally tell when she is over stimulated by the way she acts. Thanks for all the support. I will keep everyone updated as the week goes on, lots of doctor appointments this week
  10. Free Kittens

    Free Kittens New Member

    Hi Thumper

    Welcome aboard!

    Free Kittens