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Substance Abuse
Need Advice on Abandonment Issues
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<blockquote data-quote="PatriotsGirl" data-source="post: 646836" data-attributes="member: 15796"><p>Coming from another gramma raising a grandbaby, I would seek help, too. I worry the same effects for Connor but Connor is still too young, yet. He spent the first week of his life with me while momma was still locked up and has been living with me since birth. So nana and papa are still the constant in his life and I think that helps. He was waking up screaming every night for a few weeks when she first left and I know that was abandonment issues - I couldn't even leave the room without him completely freaking out. That is gone now. So, my plan is to bring him to visit her and let them spend their five hours every other week but I think to him it will be like visiting a sister or someone. Not sure he will recognize her as his momma - I think he sees me as momma. But she misses him terribly and would LOVE to have him with her. Every time she sends me a letter, she sends him one, too along with either a drawing or a coloring book page colored in. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>If she showed no interest in him, I would definitely not be forcing any visitation. I would find out what I could do to help him with any abandonment issues. Especially if you feel that she won't be back for him. In my opinion, that would cause more abandonment issues later on. I would ask her to do some serious soul searching and think about whether she wants to be a mother or not. There has never been a doubt in my mind that my daughter is heartbroken without her son and is working hard on herself to be able to be with him again...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PatriotsGirl, post: 646836, member: 15796"] Coming from another gramma raising a grandbaby, I would seek help, too. I worry the same effects for Connor but Connor is still too young, yet. He spent the first week of his life with me while momma was still locked up and has been living with me since birth. So nana and papa are still the constant in his life and I think that helps. He was waking up screaming every night for a few weeks when she first left and I know that was abandonment issues - I couldn't even leave the room without him completely freaking out. That is gone now. So, my plan is to bring him to visit her and let them spend their five hours every other week but I think to him it will be like visiting a sister or someone. Not sure he will recognize her as his momma - I think he sees me as momma. But she misses him terribly and would LOVE to have him with her. Every time she sends me a letter, she sends him one, too along with either a drawing or a coloring book page colored in. :) If she showed no interest in him, I would definitely not be forcing any visitation. I would find out what I could do to help him with any abandonment issues. Especially if you feel that she won't be back for him. In my opinion, that would cause more abandonment issues later on. I would ask her to do some serious soul searching and think about whether she wants to be a mother or not. There has never been a doubt in my mind that my daughter is heartbroken without her son and is working hard on herself to be able to be with him again... [/QUOTE]
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