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General Parenting
Need advice to give to a dear friend
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638387" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>GM...let her take care of business. It is our nature to want to fix everyone and we can't. She is far older than you are and she will do what life has taught her and if it works out badly, well, it is her walk to take. You can't control your own daughter, your friend, her daughter...and there are no magic words to help her. Many homely girls have lots of friends...it is that girl's walk to take...she will find out how to become happy in her own skin. Right now, it is best to focus on YOU and how <em><strong>YOU</strong></em> are going to get healthier with your own daughter and in your life.</p><p></p><p>None of us can save the world. Most people who confide in us want a listening ear, not to be told what we should or can or must do because there is no one answer anyway.</p><p></p><p>Let her allow professionals to handle it. If she is unwilling to ask for help, then it is something she will have to handle herself. What exactly do you, or does anything, think we can say to people that will suddenly change them?</p><p></p><p>In the end, we control one person...ourselves.Even grandma can't stop her granddaughter from seeing this friend if her granddaughter wants to do it...she will find a way. WE DO NOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE. We can try until we are almost dead from stress from the efforts but it doesn't work.</p><p></p><p>I would not say too much or you will get in the middle of another family's problem and it could come back to bite you. Focus on your own healing. Have no idea what's going on with your daughter, but that's one whopper of a problem you need to decide what to do about. Last I heard, you had not detached yourself yet. It is hard to tell others how you did it before you do and she may not want to hear your opinion. You are in a tough spot right now with yourself. You don't need extra problems. You need as little on your plate as possible right now, in my opinion.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and hope things are improving for your state of mind. Keep your stress to a minimum and let other adults solve their own problems.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638387, member: 1550"] GM...let her take care of business. It is our nature to want to fix everyone and we can't. She is far older than you are and she will do what life has taught her and if it works out badly, well, it is her walk to take. You can't control your own daughter, your friend, her daughter...and there are no magic words to help her. Many homely girls have lots of friends...it is that girl's walk to take...she will find out how to become happy in her own skin. Right now, it is best to focus on YOU and how [I][B]YOU[/B][/I] are going to get healthier with your own daughter and in your life. None of us can save the world. Most people who confide in us want a listening ear, not to be told what we should or can or must do because there is no one answer anyway. Let her allow professionals to handle it. If she is unwilling to ask for help, then it is something she will have to handle herself. What exactly do you, or does anything, think we can say to people that will suddenly change them? In the end, we control one person...ourselves.Even grandma can't stop her granddaughter from seeing this friend if her granddaughter wants to do it...she will find a way. WE DO NOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE. We can try until we are almost dead from stress from the efforts but it doesn't work. I would not say too much or you will get in the middle of another family's problem and it could come back to bite you. Focus on your own healing. Have no idea what's going on with your daughter, but that's one whopper of a problem you need to decide what to do about. Last I heard, you had not detached yourself yet. It is hard to tell others how you did it before you do and she may not want to hear your opinion. You are in a tough spot right now with yourself. You don't need extra problems. You need as little on your plate as possible right now, in my opinion. Hugs and hope things are improving for your state of mind. Keep your stress to a minimum and let other adults solve their own problems. [/QUOTE]
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