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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638403" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I don't know, GM. I really do get it. As I've shared here, but before you came on, I was a skinny, dorky looking k id who got beaten up and bullied at school until high school when I made a feisty best friend and we verbally learned how to humiliate the bullies so that they left me alone. I did not feel sure of myself and did horribly in school even after the bullying stopped. I often put my head down and went to sleep. I had school phobia too so I cut class sometimes. My friends were all drug users. There was a group of four of us, all sophomores in high school except for me, a senior. My own peer group did not want me so I made younger friends. All of them got pregnant, except me, and they all had abortions.</p><p></p><p>I was one of those rare kids who could hang with druggies who had early sex and not join in. I was a virgin when I got married (swear to God...lol). Nobody, in fact, could get me to do anything I didn't want to do. I was immune to peer pressure, however, I was attracted to difficult children a nd if not for my parent's car, which I had all the time, they would not have been able to get to many of the parties they attended where they were up to no good. So I had the role of the enabler, but I was also the designated driver. I don't even know why I went to those horrible parties. I was bored being the only one sober. I was very attached to my best friend even though she was a druggie and two years behind me in school (I was socially a dork) and I just really had fun with her, but I did not do the things she did. Still, my mental illness was in full force by then. I became very pretty in high school...that was my only thing going for me. And it didn't really make me popular. Once a guy found out I wouldn't let him do anything sexual to me, he was gone with the wind.</p><p></p><p>I did not have family support. I was the family black sheep and my mother plain hated me. I had no family support at all except for MY grandma, bless her. She was enough. When she passed, she took everything, but I still had to go on. I had kids and a husband and a life and had started therapy long before that and was working hard to live a better life than it could have been.</p><p></p><p>In the end, it is this girl's adult choices that will either make or break her. Many of us did not have a bed or roses. Two of my kids were sexually abused...both are deciding it WILL NOT define them.</p><p></p><p>This grandmother made a decision to allow her six children to abuse her and destroy her. This deal with the granddaughter is not who this girl will become, whether or not she has a lot of friends in high school, is homely right now (it can change) or if she is bullied. What will define her are the decisions she makes about overcoming this adversity or if she wants to do so. I honestly feel that everything I went through made me stronger in the end. I choose to see it all as a positive that made me the rock for my kiddos and a good wife to my husband and a peaceful, content person these days most of the time.</p><p></p><p>GM, truly, your life is what you make of it, except in rare cases, for example a terminal illness. Even then, everyone treats their illness differently. I get angry at 36 now 37 sometimes when he says "I'm killing myself." I think of all the people who are terminally ill and would gladly give all they have for another year. My son is a "glass is half empty" person. I used to be. I have learned to fight that and decide "the glass is maybe not HALF FULL, but it's NOT EMPTY."</p><p></p><p>One last tidbit: There was a girl who was considered even dorkier than me...lol. Yes, there was somebody worse. She got teased more than me. She is now on the radio and at high school reuinions everyone crowds around her. She is a celebrity. Speaking of homely, that was her. She is now nearing 60 and very beautiful and, from her pictures earlier on, she has been beautiful since her twenties when she learned how to apply makeup, do her hair, etc. She has two lovely twins and a great life. And this is a kid who everyone held t heir nose when she walked by and fake gagged and pretended to vomit.</p><p></p><p>It made her stronger too. We have discussed our lovely school day years <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>GM, you can overcome everything too. Don't let your past define you. You are young and kind and capable. You can do life and do it well. So can this granddaughter you are worried about. Sorry for the long vent. I don't think you know my saga...lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638403, member: 1550"] I don't know, GM. I really do get it. As I've shared here, but before you came on, I was a skinny, dorky looking k id who got beaten up and bullied at school until high school when I made a feisty best friend and we verbally learned how to humiliate the bullies so that they left me alone. I did not feel sure of myself and did horribly in school even after the bullying stopped. I often put my head down and went to sleep. I had school phobia too so I cut class sometimes. My friends were all drug users. There was a group of four of us, all sophomores in high school except for me, a senior. My own peer group did not want me so I made younger friends. All of them got pregnant, except me, and they all had abortions. I was one of those rare kids who could hang with druggies who had early sex and not join in. I was a virgin when I got married (swear to God...lol). Nobody, in fact, could get me to do anything I didn't want to do. I was immune to peer pressure, however, I was attracted to difficult children a nd if not for my parent's car, which I had all the time, they would not have been able to get to many of the parties they attended where they were up to no good. So I had the role of the enabler, but I was also the designated driver. I don't even know why I went to those horrible parties. I was bored being the only one sober. I was very attached to my best friend even though she was a druggie and two years behind me in school (I was socially a dork) and I just really had fun with her, but I did not do the things she did. Still, my mental illness was in full force by then. I became very pretty in high school...that was my only thing going for me. And it didn't really make me popular. Once a guy found out I wouldn't let him do anything sexual to me, he was gone with the wind. I did not have family support. I was the family black sheep and my mother plain hated me. I had no family support at all except for MY grandma, bless her. She was enough. When she passed, she took everything, but I still had to go on. I had kids and a husband and a life and had started therapy long before that and was working hard to live a better life than it could have been. In the end, it is this girl's adult choices that will either make or break her. Many of us did not have a bed or roses. Two of my kids were sexually abused...both are deciding it WILL NOT define them. This grandmother made a decision to allow her six children to abuse her and destroy her. This deal with the granddaughter is not who this girl will become, whether or not she has a lot of friends in high school, is homely right now (it can change) or if she is bullied. What will define her are the decisions she makes about overcoming this adversity or if she wants to do so. I honestly feel that everything I went through made me stronger in the end. I choose to see it all as a positive that made me the rock for my kiddos and a good wife to my husband and a peaceful, content person these days most of the time. GM, truly, your life is what you make of it, except in rare cases, for example a terminal illness. Even then, everyone treats their illness differently. I get angry at 36 now 37 sometimes when he says "I'm killing myself." I think of all the people who are terminally ill and would gladly give all they have for another year. My son is a "glass is half empty" person. I used to be. I have learned to fight that and decide "the glass is maybe not HALF FULL, but it's NOT EMPTY." One last tidbit: There was a girl who was considered even dorkier than me...lol. Yes, there was somebody worse. She got teased more than me. She is now on the radio and at high school reuinions everyone crowds around her. She is a celebrity. Speaking of homely, that was her. She is now nearing 60 and very beautiful and, from her pictures earlier on, she has been beautiful since her twenties when she learned how to apply makeup, do her hair, etc. She has two lovely twins and a great life. And this is a kid who everyone held t heir nose when she walked by and fake gagged and pretended to vomit. It made her stronger too. We have discussed our lovely school day years :) GM, you can overcome everything too. Don't let your past define you. You are young and kind and capable. You can do life and do it well. So can this granddaughter you are worried about. Sorry for the long vent. I don't think you know my saga...lol. [/QUOTE]
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