Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Need advise about vacation
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 689912" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Having your son back to stay is not (or should not be) contingent on his coming on the trip. </p><p>It sounds more like you want your son to let you off the hook about the vacation, without having to tell him, No, so that you are out of the problem. Son is not making it so easy. Nor is husband.</p><p></p><p>You have two choices that I can see.</p><p></p><p>Son, voted with his feet. He did not confirm soon enough to make this feasible. He is wanting you to pull out all of the stops, to make this possible for him, when really, his choices all along have been for himself.</p><p></p><p>If you tell son he can go, you are putting husband in a difficult spot because you did not give him a chance to voice his feelings. And you are putting yourself in a difficult spot acting against your husband's wishes.</p><p></p><p>To me, all it should take is to tell son: <em>It is not going to work for you to go on this trip this time. We waited too long and I cannot make it work.</em></p><p></p><p>You want your husband to be OK with son coming, when he is not.</p><p></p><p>You want your husband to tell son, <em>No</em>, when it was not his decision to renew the invitation and it is against his wishes anyway.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes it is the right thing to confront a situation even though (especially so) if somebody may be hurt. Because the longer it goes on, the worse it may get. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes difficult things happen no matter what we do to prevent them. As an earlier poster said, sometimes it is choosing the least worst of outcomes. (Insane, I think, said that.)</p><p></p><p>I think you will grow if you bite the bullet and decide.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 689912, member: 18958"] Having your son back to stay is not (or should not be) contingent on his coming on the trip. It sounds more like you want your son to let you off the hook about the vacation, without having to tell him, No, so that you are out of the problem. Son is not making it so easy. Nor is husband. You have two choices that I can see. Son, voted with his feet. He did not confirm soon enough to make this feasible. He is wanting you to pull out all of the stops, to make this possible for him, when really, his choices all along have been for himself. If you tell son he can go, you are putting husband in a difficult spot because you did not give him a chance to voice his feelings. And you are putting yourself in a difficult spot acting against your husband's wishes. To me, all it should take is to tell son: [I]It is not going to work for you to go on this trip this time. We waited too long and I cannot make it work.[/I] You want your husband to be OK with son coming, when he is not. You want your husband to tell son, [I]No[/I], when it was not his decision to renew the invitation and it is against his wishes anyway. Sometimes it is the right thing to confront a situation even though (especially so) if somebody may be hurt. Because the longer it goes on, the worse it may get. Sometimes difficult things happen no matter what we do to prevent them. As an earlier poster said, sometimes it is choosing the least worst of outcomes. (Insane, I think, said that.) I think you will grow if you bite the bullet and decide. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Need advise about vacation
Top