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Substance Abuse
Need Bail Advice--Heroin Addicted Son with-bed date waiting
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabethanne" data-source="post: 653592" data-attributes="member: 18933"><p>Hi Bunny (is that an ok nickname?) What a pleasant surprise to come home after another long day to find such wonderful replies of support. Your feedback is very, very helpful to me. First let me start off by saying that he is in jail and will not be going to treatment. He lost the bed but I even think he is ok with that. He does try to pull the "if I had a son, I wouldn't let him rot in jail" thing, but I'm over feeling guilty because I have spent the last 2 weeks completely invested in supporting him...communicating with the case manager, attorney, behavioral health team and medical personnel at the jail. I even wrote letters to 6 Superior Court Judges (advocating partly because of his disability issues) to see if there was a way from one of them to authorize a furlough into treatment. For the most part, I support my son from a distance all along. He hasn't lived with me for more than 10 years, and rarely even stays the night. My home didn't use to be a peaceful place, but I insist on it now. No drug drama allowed in my home. I couldn't t go back to all that chaos again. Until his bed date and latest charges came up, I didn't get caught up in his day to day drug lifestyle. We stay in touch with each other but nothing excessive and I don't feel any daily obligation to know where he is or what he's doing. I know full well what he's doing. He doesn't borrow money, would never think of asking to drive my car and he doesn't steal from me. I am not afraid of him and he can be so sweet and generous. But he doesn't come around much and that makes me sad. He thinks he's a burden and a mistake and had has tremendous remorse that he doesn't know how to cope with. I do cry sometimes and occasionally have a bigger meltdowns, but I don't let it consume me. He doesn't see my tears very often and I have supported him from a distance for a very long time. I try to be a strong and solid Mom, but I feel so anxious and scared under the surface all the time. I am involved with activities that I enjoy and take time to care other relationships that matter to me too. distance for a very long time. One part of me is heartbroken and sad for path he's chosen. Another part of me is fully able to go forward with my life with little pockets of joy and enthusiasm here and there. I love and care about my son but I also enjoy work, family and friends (I noticed the order of what I enjoy. Yes, my work is a very big escape for me. It's a good thing it's such a good fit for me!). What you helped me to realize is that I need counseling, and NA. Those are my next steps. I do have a weekly Bible discussion group at my house and my spiritual faith has been a great comfort to me, I/we pray for him often. So glad I found this site! From my heart, thank you runawaybunny. ; )</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabethanne, post: 653592, member: 18933"] Hi Bunny (is that an ok nickname?) What a pleasant surprise to come home after another long day to find such wonderful replies of support. Your feedback is very, very helpful to me. First let me start off by saying that he is in jail and will not be going to treatment. He lost the bed but I even think he is ok with that. He does try to pull the "if I had a son, I wouldn't let him rot in jail" thing, but I'm over feeling guilty because I have spent the last 2 weeks completely invested in supporting him...communicating with the case manager, attorney, behavioral health team and medical personnel at the jail. I even wrote letters to 6 Superior Court Judges (advocating partly because of his disability issues) to see if there was a way from one of them to authorize a furlough into treatment. For the most part, I support my son from a distance all along. He hasn't lived with me for more than 10 years, and rarely even stays the night. My home didn't use to be a peaceful place, but I insist on it now. No drug drama allowed in my home. I couldn't t go back to all that chaos again. Until his bed date and latest charges came up, I didn't get caught up in his day to day drug lifestyle. We stay in touch with each other but nothing excessive and I don't feel any daily obligation to know where he is or what he's doing. I know full well what he's doing. He doesn't borrow money, would never think of asking to drive my car and he doesn't steal from me. I am not afraid of him and he can be so sweet and generous. But he doesn't come around much and that makes me sad. He thinks he's a burden and a mistake and had has tremendous remorse that he doesn't know how to cope with. I do cry sometimes and occasionally have a bigger meltdowns, but I don't let it consume me. He doesn't see my tears very often and I have supported him from a distance for a very long time. I try to be a strong and solid Mom, but I feel so anxious and scared under the surface all the time. I am involved with activities that I enjoy and take time to care other relationships that matter to me too. distance for a very long time. One part of me is heartbroken and sad for path he's chosen. Another part of me is fully able to go forward with my life with little pockets of joy and enthusiasm here and there. I love and care about my son but I also enjoy work, family and friends (I noticed the order of what I enjoy. Yes, my work is a very big escape for me. It's a good thing it's such a good fit for me!). What you helped me to realize is that I need counseling, and NA. Those are my next steps. I do have a weekly Bible discussion group at my house and my spiritual faith has been a great comfort to me, I/we pray for him often. So glad I found this site! From my heart, thank you runawaybunny. ; ) [/QUOTE]
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Need Bail Advice--Heroin Addicted Son with-bed date waiting
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