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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 668118" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Seagenie I'm reading along too. None of this is your fault. You did the best you could with your son. Most of the time, if not all of the time, when we stop enabling, stop helping them, they act out in a similar way as your son is now. Much of it is to make you pay for stopping the gravy train. I've been through it too, as many of us have. It's devastating to hear your child speak to you in that way and to blame you. With our propensity for feeling guilty and taking responsibility for our children, their words hit their mark.........but the words are not true. Don't believe any of it, you know what the truth is.</p><p></p><p>You've sustained an enormous amount of grief and loss, and unfortunately, this is now compounded that grief and loss. I hope you have a therapist or a group, a 12 step group, somewhere or someone you trust and can go to for support. You've a lot on your plate. </p><p></p><p>Take deep breaths, listen to some guided visualizations on Youtube for peacefulness if that feels right, take long walks, be very, very kind and loving to yourself, you deserve it. Fill yourself back up now, focus on you and your needs, you've been caring for your son for a very long time and now it's time to nourish yourself and your life. Sending you hugs, I know how hard this is. You're not alone. We're with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 668118, member: 13542"] Seagenie I'm reading along too. None of this is your fault. You did the best you could with your son. Most of the time, if not all of the time, when we stop enabling, stop helping them, they act out in a similar way as your son is now. Much of it is to make you pay for stopping the gravy train. I've been through it too, as many of us have. It's devastating to hear your child speak to you in that way and to blame you. With our propensity for feeling guilty and taking responsibility for our children, their words hit their mark.........but the words are not true. Don't believe any of it, you know what the truth is. You've sustained an enormous amount of grief and loss, and unfortunately, this is now compounded that grief and loss. I hope you have a therapist or a group, a 12 step group, somewhere or someone you trust and can go to for support. You've a lot on your plate. Take deep breaths, listen to some guided visualizations on Youtube for peacefulness if that feels right, take long walks, be very, very kind and loving to yourself, you deserve it. Fill yourself back up now, focus on you and your needs, you've been caring for your son for a very long time and now it's time to nourish yourself and your life. Sending you hugs, I know how hard this is. You're not alone. We're with you. [/QUOTE]
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