Our 35 year old daughter and I had been best friends (that's HER description) until 6 years ago when she suddenly cut off all communications, blocked me online, refused to answer the phone, returned birthday cards unopened, refused to let us have ANY connection with her 3 children, totally rejected any and all attempts to find out what was wrong. Six years!! Last Christmas, our oldest son passed away and a couple days later, she showed up at our house. I was thrilled and hugged her. She said that she had been thinking about reconciling, and she wanted to bring her children to see us, but warned us that she had "told them everything about us" (?) how "toxic we are and how emotionally abusive we are" (?). I dropped it because I was in the middle of grieving for our son and wasn't ready for such an aggressive approach from her. We haven't seen her since that surprise visit (6 months ago) and for some strange reason, she has gone back to total rejection and the one "goodbye email" I got from her talked (again) about how toxic we are. I have no idea what she's talking about. Not a clue. She and her family used to come to the house EVERY Sunday for dinner (for many years) and we had turned one of the bedrooms into a toy room with tons of stuff for the kids (dress up chest, toys, etc.). She lives 60 miles from us and she would call me and ask me to watch the kids, so I would pick up the kids and they would stay for several days, then I'd take them back home. We loaned them money, fixed their car, we bought the kids school clothes, etc. So, where the "toxic" stuff enters in I haven't a clue. Should I just back off and let her come to me?