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Need help adult daughter wont talk to me.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 661814" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I for one think your daughter behaved cruelly. In the midst of grieving the loss of your son, her brother, she attacks you unmercifully, for what? What did she gain, except to hurt you? </p><p></p><p>I would think long and hard about the conditions under which I would open myself up to more. I would think about taking charge and establishing what my limits are. How I could be protected sufficiently to risk exposing myself more.</p><p></p><p>We cut ourselves off from our children who are living badly, are homeless and using drugs. We do so both to spare ourselves further pain and to make a statement to them how inappropriate have been their choices. We do so to take a stand for the people we know that we raised them to be.</p><p></p><p>Why not in this situation, when our children behave cruelly, impossibly hurtfully?</p><p></p><p>While we as parents need to hear our children, their perceptions of us as parents, their perceptions of their lives as children, we do not have to submit ourselves to be their victims, and to be cruelly punished or disrespected by them. </p><p></p><p>I might speak to a therapist first, to really know up front your vulnerabilities, and how to protect yourself. I do not know if I would be ready to take the next step, without really, really understanding what is at stake for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 661814, member: 18958"] I for one think your daughter behaved cruelly. In the midst of grieving the loss of your son, her brother, she attacks you unmercifully, for what? What did she gain, except to hurt you? I would think long and hard about the conditions under which I would open myself up to more. I would think about taking charge and establishing what my limits are. How I could be protected sufficiently to risk exposing myself more. We cut ourselves off from our children who are living badly, are homeless and using drugs. We do so both to spare ourselves further pain and to make a statement to them how inappropriate have been their choices. We do so to take a stand for the people we know that we raised them to be. Why not in this situation, when our children behave cruelly, impossibly hurtfully? While we as parents need to hear our children, their perceptions of us as parents, their perceptions of their lives as children, we do not have to submit ourselves to be their victims, and to be cruelly punished or disrespected by them. I might speak to a therapist first, to really know up front your vulnerabilities, and how to protect yourself. I do not know if I would be ready to take the next step, without really, really understanding what is at stake for me. [/QUOTE]
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