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Need help, advise. Sibling abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 721835" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This happened in our home but it was handled quite differently. The child was a boy we adopted at 11 and his victims were 3 and 5.</p><p></p><p>Yes, your other children are victims, need the help as much as him and this is in no way normal. It is sexual predator behavior and I am surprised your son was not removed, but all states are differrent.</p><p></p><p>For us this went on for three years and the babies were too scared of him to tell and, yes, we had the talks about good and bad touching. We called CPS the day we found out, they removed him, then they put him in a lock down facility for young sexual predators. He was also charged by the county with first degree sexual assault of a minor. This was the crime since the kids were six years younger than him. It wasnt our idea, it was theirs. They found him guilty and at 13 he was on the sexual predator list. I am not trying to scare you. This is just how it went.</p><p></p><p>I feel the victims are the ones who suffered the most. We never let the boy come back and focused on the mental health of our young kids...CPS offered us amazing, free services and the kids are adults now and doing great. Thank you, CPS.</p><p></p><p>This was our fifth adopted child, our oldest. Most kids molest because they were molested. Many block out the molestation. Watching porn doesnt cause one to molest siblings.Its sad, but if is very iffy to cure. You never will know if the person is cured. I hear its rare. Your son is almost a man. No matter why he did this, he is not safe to any children. I would never allow him near the other kids alone and would make everyone lock their doors at night. Personally i would be afraid to have him at home. You could lose your other kids if he is there.</p><p></p><p>I know you are terrified for your son. You need to be equally as scared for the ones he hurt or they could grow up with huge problems. They ALL need abuse therapy and you may need family counseling. Even if your son gets a good lawyer and somehow gets minimal sentencing, your other kids still suffered sexual abuse and by a beloved brother!! This is a huge trauma. It would be a big mistake to pretend that they will be okay. Please have everyone get treatment before the family blows up. The kids know what their brother did to them. It wont go away. Ever. Until it is addressed and the cycle is done. It must be dealt with on every level. With every person. It is very serious to all. Trust me, your son at his age is already in big trouble and helping your other kids is the only way to make sure they are not all damaged too. Please do help them. Your son is not the only one who needs help. He knows darn well what he did was wrong and did not tell you about his urges before he acted upon them nor did or could he stop himself. He confessed after getting caught only. Get him help, sure. BUT help your other kids or I promise you...you will regret it. Please. For all your sakes.</p><p></p><p>Hugs, love and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 721835, member: 1550"] This happened in our home but it was handled quite differently. The child was a boy we adopted at 11 and his victims were 3 and 5. Yes, your other children are victims, need the help as much as him and this is in no way normal. It is sexual predator behavior and I am surprised your son was not removed, but all states are differrent. For us this went on for three years and the babies were too scared of him to tell and, yes, we had the talks about good and bad touching. We called CPS the day we found out, they removed him, then they put him in a lock down facility for young sexual predators. He was also charged by the county with first degree sexual assault of a minor. This was the crime since the kids were six years younger than him. It wasnt our idea, it was theirs. They found him guilty and at 13 he was on the sexual predator list. I am not trying to scare you. This is just how it went. I feel the victims are the ones who suffered the most. We never let the boy come back and focused on the mental health of our young kids...CPS offered us amazing, free services and the kids are adults now and doing great. Thank you, CPS. This was our fifth adopted child, our oldest. Most kids molest because they were molested. Many block out the molestation. Watching porn doesnt cause one to molest siblings.Its sad, but if is very iffy to cure. You never will know if the person is cured. I hear its rare. Your son is almost a man. No matter why he did this, he is not safe to any children. I would never allow him near the other kids alone and would make everyone lock their doors at night. Personally i would be afraid to have him at home. You could lose your other kids if he is there. I know you are terrified for your son. You need to be equally as scared for the ones he hurt or they could grow up with huge problems. They ALL need abuse therapy and you may need family counseling. Even if your son gets a good lawyer and somehow gets minimal sentencing, your other kids still suffered sexual abuse and by a beloved brother!! This is a huge trauma. It would be a big mistake to pretend that they will be okay. Please have everyone get treatment before the family blows up. The kids know what their brother did to them. It wont go away. Ever. Until it is addressed and the cycle is done. It must be dealt with on every level. With every person. It is very serious to all. Trust me, your son at his age is already in big trouble and helping your other kids is the only way to make sure they are not all damaged too. Please do help them. Your son is not the only one who needs help. He knows darn well what he did was wrong and did not tell you about his urges before he acted upon them nor did or could he stop himself. He confessed after getting caught only. Get him help, sure. BUT help your other kids or I promise you...you will regret it. Please. For all your sakes. Hugs, love and prayers. [/QUOTE]
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