Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jacque, Jan 10, 2008.
New to the Forum. Need help/resources for opposition defiant disorder for difficult 9 year old.
I think we need a little more info.
What behaviors are you seeing?
Has your child (son? daughter?) ever had an evaluation? With what kind of medical professional?
Does your child have an official diagnosis besides ODD?
Does your child take any medications? If so, what medications and doses?
How does your child do in school, both academically and with peers?
Any developmental or speech delays?
Any sensory issues?
Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?
Again, welcome. Your answers will point us in the right direction to offer you ideas for help.
Wanted to Welcome you also.
Smallworld is right, the more info the better we can help you.
You are not alone. I remember all too well the horror in dealing with an oppositional difficult child. The Explosive Child by Ross Greene was very helpful to me at that time and if you look around the site you will find a lot of good information also.
Please tell us more about your difficult child (Gift from God) and don't be afraid. The parents here have been there done that and you will get a lot of care and help.
Sending gentle hugs.
Jacque, my difficult child was diagnosis with ODD years ago. I've got quite a bit of experience. It's a hard road to go down and we're still struggling with it.
Glad you came to our site. There are lots of warrior moms who can help. Read around for awhile and get back when you can! Welcome!
It is rare for ODD to just stand alone. There is normally another, bigger disorder driving it. YOu could help us a lot if you did a signature and answered smallmom's questions. Welcome to the board!
So sorry for the lack of information. I had no idea there would be such a quick and caring response.
Thank you so much!
My degrees (areas of expertise),are in Criminology. However, my best friend's 9 year old son is the difficult child.
Diagnosis - Severe ADHD, mood disorder including opposistion defiant disorder and possible bi-polar.
Oftentimes removed from school setting and temporarily removed from home to local Crisis Center.
He is currently on experimental medications, (I'll find out as soon as possible, which ones).
Behaviors are accelerating. Disobedience, fire setting, temper tantrums,etc.etc.
He has a very high IQ.
My best friend is 50ish, has Lupus and works, as she is a single Mom. She tries very hard to cope. She has a great attitude about it all, but with failing health, he is really wearing her out.
I told her I would help in any way I can. We live at opposite ends of the country. My concerns are many, but I see a really great boy who will unfortunately enter the juvenile justice system at an early age unless an intervention takes place.
With my friend's health, job, and workload at home, I offered to do the research. She knows little about computers and such, and when they are home together, he's pretty high maintantance.
There are no other children in the home. Just them and the dog, and he sees his Dad (who blames Mom) on the weekends.
I am 52 years old and not working outside the home right now, so I am fortunate to have the time to do the leg work. Also, educating myself better equips me to support her.
Once again, I apologize for asking for help and then leaving without expecting to get any. Took me by surprise!!
You are a very dear friend. As I suggested The Explosive Child was a great help to me. Others will be along to give ideas too.
What works for one will not necessarily work for another but as we have gone through the trial and errors of dealing with our difficult children there has always been someone here to hold us up. I wish your friend could get online and see that she is not alone. There are a whole group of us.
Check out the books recommended on the site, and all the other info available too.
Holding good thoughts and believing that your efforts will not be in vain.
Wow, there aren't lots of friends like you. I'm fortunate to have one who supports me, but I think she does because she's the mother to my difficult child's bio father. Yep, my best friend is my difficult child's grandmother. Your friend is very lucky to have someone like you who cares so much. We'll help all we can.....and in the meantime, you be her shoulder. It's very, very difficult to parent these children, no matter how much you love them.
Hello friend! I am most concerned anout the fire setting. Is this child a bio child or an adopted child. If you have a background in Criminolgy I'm sure you are aware of the inferences/assumptions associated with firesetting, not to mention the prognosis for firesetters. How often is he setting fires? How far away from home are they? Are they getting closer to home?
Also, intelligence can be a curse. It seems that brilliant difficult child's are most challenging because it's difficult to determine the difference between manipulation and illness.
I hope that your friend is well versed in school law as they need to be helping her. In a couple of years he'll be old enough for the juvenile system. They should help her now in order to avoid that.
Welcome to this site, it is a blessing to us all!
I don't have much advice to offer but I wanted tell you to tell her that she is in our thoughts and prayers! Thankfully she has such a great friend like you!
Does she have any specific questions? You can post anything and everything on this site and you will get answers, most always!
Keep us informed!
If this difficult child has a mood disorder, it is very important that it be treated first and foremost with the right medications. The ODD behaviors are a result (read symptom) of the mood disorder and should subside once the right treatment is initiated. Once you post the medications, we might be able to help your friend with that piece.
Thank you for the recommendation on the book. I skimmed it online at Barnes and Noble, and they are holding it for me right now!!
Looks like I came to the right place.
Thank You for your support -
Appreciate the help. I know I'll need it.
Yes, I am well aware of the problems associated prior to and after firesetting. Thank You for your concern.
difficult child is the biological child - I appreciate your input on the difficulties associated with the IQ. From talking with her, it is very difficult to tell the difference between manipulation and the illness.
I'll double-check on the help she's received from school.
Thank You So Much
REALLY appreciate your kindness and prayers.
I will get back with you on the specificity of her questions.
I only know she asked for help.
She said, and I quote, ..." clear and positive diagnosis's are severe adhd and mood disorder including opposistion defiant disorder and possible bi-polar. I welcome any information you come accross as my time is so very limited due to his being
constantly attended to. Thank you for all the help and words of encouragment...."
We'll keep in touch??!
It is encouraging to know the ODD behaviors will subside.
Am still waiting on a response on the medications. I'll post them as soon as I get them.
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