Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Arttillygirl, Nov 21, 2007.

  1. Arttillygirl

    Arttillygirl New Member

    I am at an internet cafe because my son (16) won't let me turn on the internet box which is, unhappily, located in his room.

    He is an aspiring rapper and was doing much better, we had found the right medications and he has the lead in a school play and even joined wrestling last week.

    Problem is we are requiring clean music. If he cusses, he bleeps it out. That was a good meeting halfway, I thought. Now he made a rap video and it clearly says F*****ing in it. He put it on the internet and sent it to all his friends at the Christian school where I am a teacher.

    He broke my mouse when I unplugged the computer while trying to discuss this with him. and now we cannot access the internet in the house.

    I guess he's going to ruin Thanksgiving tomorrow too. My 84 year old aunt has cooked for days and I'll bet he'll refuse to come and I fear leaving him at home alone (what he'll do to our house)

    HELP my next step is cancelling internet which will hurt us.
    I have passworded his myspace so he cannot do that again.
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hi, welcome to the site.

    How about taking the internet box out of his room? No way a teen should have sole access to the computer. As far as rapping goes, he broke the agreement, he loses, no more rap. That's it, that's all. Does your husband stand united with you on these issues?

    There is also no way I would leave him home alone at 15 if you are afraid he might destroy the house. If violence is an issue, call the police.
  3. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    Your son is on two antidepressants. Antidepressants can cause anger, aggression, hostility and violence in teens especially. Even after they have done well for a few weeks or months, these behaviors can begin to appear and it goes downhill. If your son is having that adverse psychiatric reaction to the antidepressants he's taking, the appropriate treatment is discontinuation of the antidepressants, not adding new ones.
  4. Arttillygirl

    Arttillygirl New Member

    I haven't been on since he'd been doing so well so I haven't updated the medications. He is no longer on the vivactil and I don't know how to change it on my profile.

    Anyway he doesn't have sole access to the computer, just the router, which he held hostage in anger.

    Well he won this round God help us. We will let him keep it up for the week until this contest is over then it goes down. I don't think I will ever forgive him for the things he said to me though.
    He said his music is more important than us and that we stand in the way of everything he stands for. F**** US over and over.

    We were really doing soooo much better it makes my heart break.
    He is turning into someone I don't like anymore. I feel like saying "you are on your own" but I know that's what he wants. He wants us to back off and let him do anything he wants.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    With difficult child speaking and treating you the way he has done, to heck with his contest. Too bad so sad. Consequences are an awful thing, which is why it's called punishment.

    I will say though that zoloft caused severe aggression in my son not long after he started it. Different people react differently with different medications.

    I know you can't call psychiatrist tomorrow, but I'd put in a call to him asap.

    If he were my son, router would be removed from his room, if he has a computer in his room it would also be removed and probably locked up for a period of time then returned only to be used in a common area of the house where he can be supervised while using it.

    If difficult child becomes violent call the police to back you up.

    As for your aunt, I'm sure she's seen more than one hostile uncooperative teen in her day.

    Keeping fingers crossed your holiday plans go smoothly.


  6. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    I'm sorry, it's hard to stand firm, to maintain your convictions. I'm always amazed by the courage of the people on this board. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a spine and that is worst thing for our difficult child's I think. Take a deep breath and be the adult. Someone on this board says they have to "give to get" I think that's so important but SO hard to do in real life! Hang in there!
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    We had similar issues here. I didn't want (couldn't stand) the confrontation of telling difficult child who's bigger than me now to "get off the computer or else (what ???)", so I waited until he wasn't home, took the computer and locked it in the car. Yes, he raged, but could not challenge it because if I left the house, the computer was with me in the car. Anytime he started making issue over getting it back, if he threatened, cursed, or otherwise seemed to try to manipulate, I told him it would just be that much longer until he had access to it again.

    We still have issues over it- the problem isn't solved. I guess I was just too stubborn to roll over on this one!!

    Good luck!
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have to beg to differ again that this is like a defiant teen. Autistic kids often CAN NOT TOLERATE certain textures of food and do throw up. It's not a battle of the wills with these kids--they have a differently wired brain and traditional methods of parenting do not work. I strongly suggest going to ER and then, in the aftermath, go on the autism site AND find an autism expert to help your child. Autism is NOT a behavior disorder. My son is fourteen and still does some strange "autistic" stuff, but he is NOT defiant and I don't think your son is either. Are you trying to force him to eat things he finds intolerable? I can only urge you to get help for what he has--Autism--he will not respond the way you like to ordinary parenting. It is dangerous in my opinion to treat him as if he was defiant or bad. (Phew). Yes, I'm passionate about this, as I've lived it. Good luck!