Need Help with 2 difficult child's

[overwhelmedmama]

Hello - I'm new to the site and look forward to hearing from folks going through similar things. I really did think I was alone until I found this site. THANK YOU Tiredmommy for responding and helping me get started. I am an older mom of two adopted children, ages 5 and 9. Both were adopted at birth and both have turned out to be difficult child's. Our son is definitely ADHD, with other things going on which I may ask questions about later. He's on Ritalin and it has made a huge difference. Our biggest challenge right now is the just-turned 5 difficult child. We have finally gotten hooked up with a counselor through school (She's in PreK) and will see her next Monday. So far no psychiatrist will see her because around here they only see kids starting at age 6. My daughter is a little bundle of anger, most of which she spews at me. She attacks me physically every time I tell her "no." She has drawn blood on numerous occasions. I have tried every parenting tool I know and everything either has no effect or makes it worse. She is mean to her brother and her grandmother, who lives with us. She's brought out behavior problems in her brother which had totally cleared up. Sorry I'm rambling .... I would truly appreciate any suggestions, especially for the violent outbursts and hours-long temper tantrums.
Thank you!
Overwhelmed mama

 

[Wishing]

I saw the first psychiatrist at difficult child's age 4.She was not that helpful. However later I saw a psychologist who did a number of tests and recommended mine be started on ritalin at age 6. And this worked for a time. Later we changed to other medications. I also followed Russell Barkley's program I found his manual. He recommends time outs and also I did a behavior chart.
However if you can take her to preferably a university center where she would get a thorough multidisciplianary evaluation that would be ideal or get a referral to a neuropsychologist so you get a clear picture of what she needs.

 

[overwhelmedmama]

There is a university in the nearest city; no idea how to access the multidisciplinary evaluation. It's a question I'll add to the list of things to ask the counselor next week. Thank you!