Greetings, my name is Misty and I'm hoping the community here can help me with a problem. I am the stepmom of a 14 year old highly functioning autistic teenage boy. Adam can be a very loving child; however, his father and I have been having significant behavior problems with him in regard to disrespect. Adam has difficulty accepting the fact that we are the adults and he is the child going as far as to try to tell us what we are and are not going to do, etc. We've tried several methods including taking away items (which doesn't seem to bother him at the time), talking to him at length, etc. He often apologies after the fact but may be back at it an hour later. This creates a lot of strife in our home. Everything is a fight. Asking him to do the smallest thing can set off this belligerent behavior. We can go out of our way to do things for him but it is unappreciated. He has stated many times that it is "my job" to take care of him. I've gone out of my way for him, time and time again, and am met with contempt more times than not. Needless to say, this causes issues between my husband and I. He tends to be more lenient until he isn't able to take it anymore. Each morning is a fight to get Adam up, showered, dressed, fed, and out the door in time for the bus. He insists on being exceptionally slow and dilly dallies as if he is intentionally trying to be late. As a final note, here is an example. Adam doesn't get to see his grandparents very often now that school has started. He lived with them off and on throughout much of his life until my husband and I got together. They refused to discipline him and often fought my husband when he tried to correct adam so he has developed a lot of bad behavior as a result, but he loves his grandparents dearly. We had a horrible last few days with Adam and his defiance issues. Clearly he didn't care what we took away from him but he desperately wanted to see his grandparents. We had arranged for him to spend this weekend with him. It got so bad before taking him over there that had it been up to me, he wouldn't have went. I didn't want to deprive him of this, but there was nothing else I could think of that would make him realize the severity of his behavior. My husband didn't want to be the bad guy and cause strife with his parents, so Adam went. Thanks for your help. I love Adam, he can be a joy, but I don't know how much longer I can keep reaching out to a child that is so defiant.