Need help with an embarassing clothing issue

[AppleCori]

Hi Cali,

I wear longer tank tops/camis under a V-neck t-shirt/long sleeve, solid color shirt almost exclusively for my every-day outfit along with mid-rise, slim fit, stretch skinny jeans (I'm not skinny, the jeans are) from Target with matching tennis shoes (match my shirt). Cami usually in a complimentary color or white. For a slightly dressier look, I wear a button-down shirt with the accompanying tank or cami.

I am short, busty, and hip-y, and this makes me look slimmer at the waist, draws the eye down, and takes pounds off. At least for me.

I am an aspiring minimalist, and I don't keep clothes that don't flatter me (in my mind, at least). I don't have a lot of clothing, but I have what I like. And what I like most is closet space!

 

[GoingNorth]

You have gotten very good advice here, CB. I also dress in tunics, etc. I get my clothing from Roaman's, FullBeauty, Woman Within. They are internet/mail order houses, and with their sales and specials, are quite reasonable.

FullBeauty is actually the parent company of the other two listed. If you can qualify, and ONLY if you can pay it off every month (interest is outrageous) I advise getting a credit card with them as it entitles you to a lot of special discounts.

That after you order a few times and if you decide you like their clothing, of course.

 

[Copabanana]

For comfort and sheer practicality... when my weight goes up? It's "jumpers".

I love this idea. Jumpers are not easy to find. But there are a lot of old patterns available, like for shift dresses that you can use, or patterns for jumpers that were more popular in the past. They are so adorable I do not know why they are no longer as popular. In a lightweight fabric, you can wear them in summer with a light cap sleeve t shirt under, and still look appropriate.

COPA

 

[Copabanana]

Look how adorable these jumper patterns are:

 

[nlj]

When my weight started to creep up a bit when I stopped running a few years ago, I went out and bought some bigger sized clothes. I have to say it was the worst thing I've ever done as I started feeling comfortable with my extra pounds. Bad news. I'd never do that again. Once I woke up and realised that I was slipping into a new comfy me I kicked arse big time, lost the pounds and ditched the tents... just saying.

 

[Copabanana]

Once I woke up and realised that I was slipping into a new comfy me I kicked arse big time, lost the pounds and ditched the tents... just saying

Smart, nlj.

 

[Quicksand]

So you all know how I have been struggling with my weight for the past couple of years. I have lost some, gained some, lost some more, then gained it right back. Well since my new horrible boss started working here in September and is SO demanding, I have been binge eating non stop to deal with all the extra stress. I don't know how much weight I have gained. I weighed approximately 171 pounds in the summer.

Now my size 14's don't fit, so I am officially plus sized. I am estimating that I probably weigh somewhere near 200 pounds at this point. I bought a new bathroom scale a couple weeks ago, and I've yet to put the batteries in and finally weigh myself. Perhaps I will get up the courage tomorrow.

Anyway, since my weight gain, I have this embarrassing problem with my shirt/sweater/top, or whatever it is I'm wearing, riding up and exposing my skin. So far two different coworkers have pointed out that when I stand up from my desk, my shirt goes up and you can see my fat. Something that's true but hurtful all the same. The tops I am wearing fit everywhere else, as far as my arms and shoulders are concerned, but the bottom part of my tops ride up, and I am constantly having to pull them down.

The last thing I want to do is disgust anybody with my huge, unsightly fat. I looked in the mirror at work today and was absolutely disgusted with my body. Therefor, I am back to dieting. But in the mean time, I seriously need the name of a good plus sized shop that is not too expensive, that specializes in long tops. I am sick of always having to pull mine down, and it's embarrassing too. Does anybody have any advice on where I can shop that's not too pricey?

I wear a tank top or "smoothing" tank. Get a big one that tucks in deep. Then a shirt over that and a thin asymmetric a cardigan. Works like magic.
J. Jill isn't cheap, but I splurged and bought a 3 tunic shirts that cover the flaws and have pockets too. Everything I tried on from there was perfect.
I understand the struggle.

 

[GoingNorth]

I think some of the medications CB is on have weight gain as a side effect, and make it harder to lose the weight. There is nothing wrong with deciding to look good at the weight one is at. I have made that decision. I am about 50lbs overweight due to a stint on zyprexa and seroquel several years ago. I have lost some weight very slowly, as back, neck, and knee arthritis make it extremely difficult for me to exercise when on some days, I am incapable of walking any kind of distance.

 

[Copabanana]

J. Jill

I will look, too.

I buy sweaters at Sierra Trading Post. The best ones I bought were a cashmere blend, big, with short sleeves--for only $25. I bought 2, and lost one. How? They are lightweight, feel like a "blankie" and are not especially warm. Just enough for inside.

COPA

 

[Copabanana]

I agree, GoingNorth. I gained more than 60 pounds. I kept all my clothes at size 6, 8, 10, when I was squeezing into 16. I was adamant I would get back to 127. I felt my life depended upon it. I am only losing 2 pounds or so a month. At first I felt depressed and desperate. Something in me changed. I would like to get below 155, but only because that would put me within the healthy range. Somewhere along the way I accepted myself, and I became OK.

I decided to get rid of most of the tiny clothes, too.

I am happier now that I have accepted myself however I am.

COPA

 

[Lil]

I don't know if they have them in California, but there is a store called Cato that is 1/2 plus sized and 1/2 Junior/Misses. Cato is very reasonable. In fact, I've gotten tops for $5 from the clearance rack and they pretty much always have a clearance rack.

I started to suggest you get a nice long cardigan, but given where you live that's probably not doable as it's pretty warm, right? I do like the idea of a tank or cami under your top, long enough go to the hips. If your tops are rolling/riding up, they're too tight. Try something more A-line, like so

.

Diets don't work. Trust me...I've gained and lost hundreds of pounds and the only thing that lasted any period of time was wieght watchers. But the basic idea is simple, lean meat, lots of veggies, less sugar and sweets and carbs. Good luck!

 

[4now]

I struggle with this myself. I eat when I'm stressed and stuffing my feelings. I have lost and gained several times. I have a had time putting my needs and feelings first. I am trying to eat well and handle my stress by doing other activities instead of eating. I agree with Copa, I'm happier when I accept myself and can feel good about wherever I am at in my journey.

 

[New Leaf]

I am fluffy after too many Holiday goodies. I use tank tops under t shirts and blouses, and layer with light full sweaters. Luckily fashion is on our side with swing tops and flowing, longer blouses in style.
CB, I think you are too hard on yourself. I know the feeling, not liking what we see in the mirror, and how being heavy feels physically, but it is no reason to be mean to YOU!
I think California has Ross stores? We have them over here, and their clothes are reasonable. They have plus sizes.
Love yourself, no matter what size. I think you will find, that having clothes that fit you well, will help you to like yourself more.
I am pretending that I gained weight to play a part, like an actress, and now I am working at losing it.....okay I am weird, but whatever works!

I carry my weight in my upper body and midriff. UGH.
So, loose tops and leggings.
I am getting up earlier to go walking, and once I get into the routine, I find that it gets easier each day to do it. Drinking a glass of water before I eat helps. Eating more veggies and fresh food, plus making sure I take vitamins helps.
I am an emotional eater, that is my downfall. Sweets are too tempting, so I have to stay away, especially at work, around 1:30.
I am on a mission to get back to a healthy weight. What works for me is to get moving and exercising. Diets are boring. I would rather call them "live its".
Okay, I am talking to myself here. I really need to get on the ball! I find that when I am smaller sized, I have more energy and my joints feel much better.....getting there is the challenge! Finding time to exercise....challenging. One day, one step at a time.....
But, until then, I need to embrace who I am and not be hard on myself, because that is depressing, which leads to bad eating, so fluffy it is...


I like looking at fashion ideas with real fluffy models, who are actually in high demand. There are more fluffy people out there than skinnies......Now, if I could only find fluffy models in their 50's and 60's, hey, maybe we could start something........

Okay, that was fun.

I better stop or I am going to go shopping........

Time for my walk. Peace out CD!

(((FLUFFY HUGS)))
leafy

 

[AppleCori]

Thanks, Leafy, for the pics.

Girl #3 is the look I was describing, that works for me.

It's a youthful, attractive, fun, sexy, look that accentuates the hourglass figure and downplays a few extra pounds.

Lots of good looks there, and not just for 'apple' shapes.

 

[AppleCori]

Thanks, GN, for reminding us about the side-effects of some medications.

My X had terrible weight gain with some medications. He was a healthy eater, too.

I remember once a relative asked him when he was 'due'. He was a big guy anyway, and gained a lot of weight in the stomach area because of his medications. It was embarrassing to him.

 

[New Leaf]

Back from my walk, oh man the moon was just exquisite.
Be sure to get a peek at it tomorrow, Full Wolf Moon......

I remember once a relative asked him when he was 'due'. He was a big guy anyway, and gained a lot of weight in the stomach area because of his medications. It was embarrassing to him.

.
People are mean. If someone makes a comment about my weight this is my reply "Hellooooo, I have a mirror...."

While it is important to maintain ideal body weight, I don't buy in to the whole BMI thingee. It just doesn't make sense to me because there are all different body types. My doctor feels the same way. BMI is unrealistic.
I don't like to weigh myself when I know I am too heavy. It becomes self defeating. That may seem counter weight loss, but the numbers are depressing, I am heavy boned, and tend to weigh more than the average person my height. What I do is go by how my clothes fit.
So, not weight only, but fitness, getting back into moving, then eating better comes more naturally.....When I pull down some, then I will step on the scale and go from there. That works for me.

Back to body weight and image. My mom, is fat PHOBIC. She is a very conscientious eater. When we went to visit in the fall, she was appalled at the amount my boy could eat, well, he is 14, in shape and an eating machine. I think mom, at 82, eats very little and forgets what it takes to maintain a 14 year old boys growth. My brother at that age ate us out of house and home. I think she forgets.
Mom made the kids feel very uncomfortable about eating, which made me reflect on my own eating problems.
At the same time, HUH, when we were growing up, we had to eat everything on our plates, the goal being dessert, EVERY NIGHT!!!!!! So, that is a bad habit instilled.

"You can't have dessert, unless you are a member of the clean plate club!"

UGH. Food as a reward, bad, bad, bad.

I lost a bunch of weight three years ago, training for paddling. I ate lean cuisine and I think its called Healthy Choices. Then, I realized the difference really, was smaller portions. So now, I am using a really pretty smaller salad plate for my meals, and eating less at dinner time.

Wish me luck, guys, on a mission here.
Fitness, range of motion and flexibility
being at the top of the list.......

Have a great day!
(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[InsaneCdn]

I don't buy in to the whole BMI thingee. It just doesn't make sense to me because there are all different body types. My doctor feels the same way. BMI is unrealistic.

My son was always hounded to lose weight by phys ed teachers and doctors, because of his "BMI". Except... he was really only about 10 pounds over what he "should" have been - way less than kids who don't get hounded about it. What throws his BMI out is his structural dimensions... tall, with very broad shoulders, very heavy set.

Hip-to-waist ratio seems to be a much better indicator of unhealthy weight. Trust me... a waist that is 2x your hips is BIG trouble! Ratios are different for guys and gals, of course.

 

[Californiablonde]

Thank you ladies you all have given great advice. I still have two Christmas gift cards that I haven't used from Kohls so I am going tomorrow to spend them. First thing I need to do is buy a pair of size 16 jeans. As of now, I only have one pair of jeans that still fit me enough that I can wear them out, and they are a 14 and they are VERY uncomfortably tight. I am also going to look for some long camis (they are popular here in warm California) that I can wear underneath my tops.

One reason why I am so hard on myself about this weight is that physically I feel awful! I can't climb the one flight of stairs to my apartment without getting out of breath and having chest pains. I have to stop in the middle and rest. And for another thing, there are certain things I can no longer do for myself now that I am so much heavier. I can't tell you all exactly what these things are. It's too embarrassing and I don't want to gross anybody out. Let's just say that I can no longer perform certain daily hygienic activities without struggling greatly. You all can use your imagination. Anyway, getting to the point of being "OK" with my size is not an option. I cannot learn to be comfortable in the body I have now. I am back on Weight Watchers and counting every single calorie on Myfitnesspal. One way or another, I will lose this weight, stress or not!

 

[Copabanana]

there are certain things I can no longer do for myself now that I am so much heavier. I can't tell you all exactly what these things are.

After you lose the first 5 pounds, it will be OK.

We are most of us in the same club. Don't sweat it.

COPA

 

[InsaneCdn]

I can't climb the one flight of stairs to my apartment without getting out of breath and having chest pains. I have to stop in the middle and rest

THIS is not a function of your weight. It's about what kind of shape you are in. You could be as skinny as a rail and still be this out of shape.

Don't tie the two goals together.
One goal is to get rid of some of the weight
The other goal is to increase your fitness level.

Track both. A win on EITHER front is a WIN, and a win on either front will help the other front as well, sooner or later.