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Need help with Plan B
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<blockquote data-quote="Roxona" data-source="post: 688680" data-attributes="member: 19076"><p>We deal with your dilemma with SS10 on a daily basis. We have six kids to tend to, and I stay at home, so the whole "buy me this, I'm entitled" thing doesn't work here. </p><p></p><p>I have several different approaches. Depending on how hard he has been on me, I try to listen to his request and validate that he wants something. However, if he's been having a go at me all day, I will shut him down quickly. He's the type that wants everything right now, and will rapid fire demands at me or his dad until he gets put into timeout. He absolutely will not stop until some sort of punishment is threatened, and sometimes that won't even stop him. He will also destroy things we have bought him because he thinks he can force us to buy him what he wants to replace what he destroyed. That doesn't ever work because he will have to buy a replacement from his allowance....for some reason he's slow to learn this lesson because he's been replacing out of his allowance a lot lately.</p><p></p><p>Here are some of my answers:</p><p></p><p>1. Not right now.</p><p>2. Maybe later.</p><p>3. We're in the middle of xyz and don't have time for that now.</p><p>3. No! Have you lost your mind?!?!</p><p>4. I don't have money for that right now.</p><p>5. If you want that, you will have to pay for it with your allowance.</p><p>6. You can ask for that for your birthday or Christmas.</p><p></p><p>The boys get an allowance for doing chores and if they want to earn extra money, I can usually find something for them to do. </p><p></p><p>When my son, J, was in high school, I would give him a certain amount of money each week to do with as he wanted. I.e., lunch from cafeteria, food from the mall, go to the dollar movies, etc.</p><p></p><p>When it was time to buy clothes for school, we would go through his closet to determine what he needed, then I would give him a certain amount in cash. He was required to fill his all his needs, but he could determine if he wanted to spend more on shoes and less on a backpack, etc.</p><p></p><p>I'm a very frugal momma and spending frivolously is a crazy maker for me. I feel your pain and hope some of this helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Roxona, post: 688680, member: 19076"] We deal with your dilemma with SS10 on a daily basis. We have six kids to tend to, and I stay at home, so the whole "buy me this, I'm entitled" thing doesn't work here. I have several different approaches. Depending on how hard he has been on me, I try to listen to his request and validate that he wants something. However, if he's been having a go at me all day, I will shut him down quickly. He's the type that wants everything right now, and will rapid fire demands at me or his dad until he gets put into timeout. He absolutely will not stop until some sort of punishment is threatened, and sometimes that won't even stop him. He will also destroy things we have bought him because he thinks he can force us to buy him what he wants to replace what he destroyed. That doesn't ever work because he will have to buy a replacement from his allowance....for some reason he's slow to learn this lesson because he's been replacing out of his allowance a lot lately. Here are some of my answers: 1. Not right now. 2. Maybe later. 3. We're in the middle of xyz and don't have time for that now. 3. No! Have you lost your mind?!?! 4. I don't have money for that right now. 5. If you want that, you will have to pay for it with your allowance. 6. You can ask for that for your birthday or Christmas. The boys get an allowance for doing chores and if they want to earn extra money, I can usually find something for them to do. When my son, J, was in high school, I would give him a certain amount of money each week to do with as he wanted. I.e., lunch from cafeteria, food from the mall, go to the dollar movies, etc. When it was time to buy clothes for school, we would go through his closet to determine what he needed, then I would give him a certain amount in cash. He was required to fill his all his needs, but he could determine if he wanted to spend more on shoes and less on a backpack, etc. I'm a very frugal momma and spending frivolously is a crazy maker for me. I feel your pain and hope some of this helps. [/QUOTE]
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