I am proud "stepmom" to a 13 yr old difficult child step daughter. Her father and I are not married, and in fact, only have been dating for about a year and moved in together very quickly after we first met and before I knew the full extent to difficult child's behavior. difficult child behavior for the most part I feel, is very very selfish. Could care less about the feelings of others, very materilistic, and when you do give her something (clothes for example) looks around and asks for more. She has had a difficult life - that I completly understand. Her real mother could not connect with her since biological mom grew up without a mother herself. Bio mom would take her to therapist, but instead of WORKING with the issues, the docs prescribed all sorts of medications, one being Risperdal which is suppose to help with the rages but all it did was make her a zombie, to cover up the symptoms. She has been off the medications, and since she came to live with her dad in May, has improved some of her behaviors. difficult child will break things, doors, computers, easy child toys, etc and be extremley happy about it. She has sneaked out at night so that she could walk the streets like she did at her bio mom's house. She refuses to stay in dress code up at school, wearing low cut shirts then complains that she is called a "*****" by fellow students. Refuses to do anything that I ask, even as simple as putting on a sweater instead of a tshirt - its 22 degrees outside. Her father does back me up 99.9% of the time, it just gets tiring that every time I turn around and ask her to do something, its a fight. I read in her diary several things that alarm me, one including that she wants to take a knife and stab me with it because "Ms. M hates me and tells me to do things that I don't want to do". I am looking at a therapist, behind husband's back. He keeps thinking if the last round of therapy that she went through didn't help, why should this? Here is my question, how do you keep the anger that builds up with difficult children behavior at bay? There are so many times that I just want to throttle her and just give up.