need hope


100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Define "success". LOL.

There are many here yes.

My son is doing better but I wouldn't put him in "success" category yet!


Well-Known Member
My daughter used pot, meth, cocaine, psychpdelics and even smoked heroin twice. She was lucky to be afraid of needles so she never injected.
She started at 12 (yes 12). We put her out at nineteen. She decided it was too hard to use and moved to live in another state with her brother to get away from those who knew her as a big druggie and wpuld mpt lieave her alone. She was lonely and had no friends as she lived in straight arrow brothers basement. She couldnt even light a cigarette or hed toss her put. She had to pay rent. She got a job at Subway and walked to and from work in Chicagos winter. She was promoted to manager, still no car. Had no car for years.
Her brother was harder on her than us but she did not want to be homeless.she had to clean and cook for her hard working brother and his like roommates who rented rooms in sons home.
She quit drugs including cigatettes and met a boy who was nice. She went back to college on grants and loans on her own dime. The two now own a home, have jobs and my granddaighter whlo owns my heart. They never party. They are good parents.

We did not help her out once she blew it the last time and had to leave. No money. Nothing. She did it herself. Her brother was hard on her. I do believe tough love works best in most drug cases although some never get it. Mine did.

It has been twelve years now. I cam hardly remember that girl who looked like death. My very happy story!!!
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We have just made the one year mark. No drugs, works, but still working on independence. Because he is a young 20, and loved we allow him to live with us while he grows.

Measure of success is different for everyone...some will become independent but still drug, some won't but live on the poverty line...some just become medication compliant and success is strangeness.

I have learned that it is different for all situations.

in a daze

Well-Known Member
No more drugs, working, taking care of their own shelter and food

Well, our guy's a partial success.

No more drugs...check.


Takes care of own food...check.

Takes care of own shelter...negative.

We are paying his rent as he only works 25 hours a week. He is going to Vocational Rehabilitation to try and get a better job. He has applied foe federal and state jobs and even had an interview in December. However, he is not as aggressive in the job search as we think he should be and I believe his fears and anxieties hold him back.

He goes to his psychiatrist and therapy appointments and takes his medicine, and works out at the gym several times a week. Pays for phone, gym, and bus pass.

And I don't get any more frantic phone calls. If he has a crisis, he handles it and I hear about it after the fact. That is a BIG improvement.

These young adults change very slowly. Expect lots of backsliding. Boundaries are very important if they are to have any chance of improving, and also to preserve YOUR mental health!




Well-Known Member
Teri, my daughter is now 25, has a job, lives on her own and pays her bills (I think). Life will always be a struggle for her, she wasted a chance to go to college and burned a lot of bridges. She doesn't live in the best area but she is doing as good as we can hope for at this time and that is a ton better than she was doing.
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