Need Input, Please - Email from gfg32's girlfriend has me shaken

[SeekingStrength]

Thanks. You always help so much. I keep wondering why am I so surprised at the venom?? And, maybe I am not surprised at all, just not believing it is still being spit out so frequently. Gfg32 has not been decent to us since November (when I refused to Western Union $20). And, he thinks he would get hotel room money from people he has treated so horribly?

Mental illness + extreme mean = bad stuff.

Just before husband and I turned in for the night, our 24yo stopped by ( had a birthday last week). He had just gotten off work and acted like he wanted to talk about he and his roommate looking for another house to rent.
He said it did not bother him, but it did. He read us a FB message from gfg32 that said something along the lines of "Man, i hate to bring you into this but your parents are not acting like parents. They are not treating me like their son. Oh wait, they do treat you like one."...and gfg32 had included the girlfriend's letter.

This morning, husband decided to block gfg32 on FB and found out gfg32 has opened a SECOND FB account. He must have gotten another email addy to use? So, i went in and blocked the second account. today is my mom's birthday. I emailed her and she emailed back that there were 6 missed vm's on her cell. She said she was too tired to listen to gfg32's hatefulness.

It is incredibly helpful to know husband and I are not alone...that others have gone through just as bad and sometimes much worse. And as we always add, I wish you had NOT...but since you have and do, I am so very grateful to this board.

I sent my mom some cut & pasted feedback and she emailed, "How did you find all these wise women?" She thinks it would be good for me to forward these to gfg32, but I said no, thanks. Truly, I want no communication from him for a very long time. She does answer some of his emails and look where it has gotten her.


You are correct. It DOES make it easier to detach. And, husband and I will keep to the path. I have not caught you giving me bad advice yet, lol.

 

[BusynMember]

Don't send him a thing. Then you'll have to find, posted all over the internet, "My mom is listening to a bunch of old ladies who are telling her not to be a mother to me anymore. She cares more about them than about me!"

He doesn't need to know where you are getting your advice. Anything we tell our difficult children can and WILL be used against us in a court of a difficult child's deluded mind

 

[SeekingStrength]

Don't send him a thing. Then you'll have to find, posted all over the internet, "My mom is listening to a bunch of old ladies who are telling her not to be a mother to me anymore. She cares more about them than about me!"

LOL. and yes, you are right on.

 

[SeekingStrength]

Plus--I shared with my mom that this is a safe haven for hurting parents and that I don't think it's a good idea to send these posts to anybody else. I made an exception with her because she struggles with the guilt and I KNEW your posts would give her strength (and they have)

 

[DazedandConfused]

Parents of difficult child' s suffer endless and unpredictable humiliations.

When my difficult children were younger, middle and grade school I would refer to our family as the "Freaks of the Street."

I'm a new middle school teacher after being at the elementary level many years, working in the same small city in which I live. I've had students ask me, "Are you Son's mother??" or is "Daughter YOUR daughter???" Apparently, they are known through older brothers and sisters, and other family members, and the implication is that how could someone like me have kids like them? Of course, I never speak about them so I either ignore the question like I didn't hear it, or if they are persistent, tell students we can discuss it after school and so far nobody has taken me up on it.


SS,

I'm so sorry for what difficult child is putting you through. They can really ratchet things up when they are out to get their needs met. You got a lot of great responses. Warm and gentle hugs is about all I have to offer.

 

[Albatross]

Don't send him a thing. Then you'll have to find, posted all over the internet, "My mom is listening to a bunch of old ladies who are telling her not to be a mother to me anymore. She cares more about them than about me!"
He doesn't need to know where you are getting your advice. Anything we tell our difficult children can and WILL be used against us in a court of a difficult child's deluded mind

And difficult children with computer access will be trolling this place like crazy.

This whole pity play and trying to pull others into it is so familiar. My difficult child (Evil Genius) can create alliances better than anyone I have ever met, and he is in top form when he feels he has been wronged (which is often). If he used his superpowers for good instead of just trying to parasite off others and get high, we would probably have world peace by now. I'm sorry you are going through it, but I love your mom's response!

 

[Nomad]

WT Heck? I don't know the full story here, but my guess is you made the decision to detach due to some VERY inappropriate behaviors on the part of your difficult child AND he is THIRTY TWO!?!?!?
And I would venture to say if he was clean, sober, doing his honest best and respectful you'd be willing to help more. But that isn't the scenario, now is it? She sounds like she has her own work to do. Bleh!