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<blockquote data-quote="AllStressedOut" data-source="post: 70530" data-attributes="member: 3837"><p>In the letter I have written now, I just asked that she be in control of her life and be happy when the boys get to the age they want to find her. That she not be self medicating, so that my oldest difficult child doesn't try that path because he sees her in it, now that he has the possibility of the bi-polar diagnosis with her.</p><p></p><p>I think I've decided to write extremely honest letters and date them. I think I will keep them for myself. Then, when the day comes that they do seek her out, I can print them. This will log their lives now, while it's happening, rather than me have to remember every detail later on. Then the boys can give this to her if they want to, or they can just read it for themselves and see the strides they've made.</p><p></p><p>If it were me, as a mother, I'd want this type of communication now. But I need to keep telling myself, if it were me, I wouldn't be in her situation. I'm a different person and what I hold dear, may not be the same as others. I just have to keep reminding myself of that when I think about her. As a mother, I want to do what is best for my boys. Thats why I struggle with keeping in contact with her. Is it best I know where she is and how she is or is it best I pretend she doesn't exist?</p><p></p><p>I was thinking of having a specific day each week that we tell eachother stories about her. I use to know her well and I think talking about her in a good way would help them open up with everything. I don't know, I'm rambling now!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AllStressedOut, post: 70530, member: 3837"] In the letter I have written now, I just asked that she be in control of her life and be happy when the boys get to the age they want to find her. That she not be self medicating, so that my oldest difficult child doesn't try that path because he sees her in it, now that he has the possibility of the bi-polar diagnosis with her. I think I've decided to write extremely honest letters and date them. I think I will keep them for myself. Then, when the day comes that they do seek her out, I can print them. This will log their lives now, while it's happening, rather than me have to remember every detail later on. Then the boys can give this to her if they want to, or they can just read it for themselves and see the strides they've made. If it were me, as a mother, I'd want this type of communication now. But I need to keep telling myself, if it were me, I wouldn't be in her situation. I'm a different person and what I hold dear, may not be the same as others. I just have to keep reminding myself of that when I think about her. As a mother, I want to do what is best for my boys. Thats why I struggle with keeping in contact with her. Is it best I know where she is and how she is or is it best I pretend she doesn't exist? I was thinking of having a specific day each week that we tell eachother stories about her. I use to know her well and I think talking about her in a good way would help them open up with everything. I don't know, I'm rambling now! [/QUOTE]
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