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Parent Emeritus
need reminder that I am only a money machine to my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 632102" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I am so so sorry. It is terrible way to live. I hope your husband is with you tonight. If he comes to your house, call the police. You may want to get a restraining order. You may want to block his calls and his texts so you don't get sucked in to his dramas. You may want to let him know you will only speak to him once a week, every other day, for 5 minutes as long as he is respectful, whatever works for you, as long as<u><strong> you</strong></u> set the boundaries and he abides by them. Do not accept disrespect or abuse from him. </p><p></p><p>Please get yourself some support. 12 step groups. NAMI, (National Alliance for Mental illness, which can be accessed online-they have excellent courses for parents) private therapy, some kind of counseling and support for YOU. YOU will need to get support so you can shift your responses to your son. You have to be the one to change, he won't. YOU have the power here, you must take it. Do not allow him to keep you in this hamster wheel, this roller coaster ride to hell, it will ruin your life. </p><p></p><p>Your son is a grown man in his 30's, he is far beyond the age of a child who needs his mommy and daddy to take care of him. Step back from this ledge you're on and walk in the opposite direction for a little while so you can gain some perspective. It is almost impossible to do that when you are right in the middle of the fray. Step back, take deep breaths, get a plan going as to what your next steps are and follow through with them. Do not continue down this road, you will be pulled out of your center into the world of insanity each and every time. Don't do it.</p><p></p><p>Take the focus off of him and put it onto you. Do that and get help for you. Once you begin that journey you will begin to feel better. You heart will begin to mend. You will feel joy again. This insanity will end. But YOU have to be the one who does it. YOU have to change how you respond. You can do it. One moment at a time, one day at a time, and then all those moments and days will run together and you will wake up one day and feel better, a lot better. Take care of YOU. Start right now.</p><p></p><p>Sending you warm thoughts and prayers for this issue tonight to resolve and for you to find the strength to detach and accept what you cannot change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 632102, member: 13542"] I am so so sorry. It is terrible way to live. I hope your husband is with you tonight. If he comes to your house, call the police. You may want to get a restraining order. You may want to block his calls and his texts so you don't get sucked in to his dramas. You may want to let him know you will only speak to him once a week, every other day, for 5 minutes as long as he is respectful, whatever works for you, as long as[U][B] you[/B][/U] set the boundaries and he abides by them. Do not accept disrespect or abuse from him. Please get yourself some support. 12 step groups. NAMI, (National Alliance for Mental illness, which can be accessed online-they have excellent courses for parents) private therapy, some kind of counseling and support for YOU. YOU will need to get support so you can shift your responses to your son. You have to be the one to change, he won't. YOU have the power here, you must take it. Do not allow him to keep you in this hamster wheel, this roller coaster ride to hell, it will ruin your life. Your son is a grown man in his 30's, he is far beyond the age of a child who needs his mommy and daddy to take care of him. Step back from this ledge you're on and walk in the opposite direction for a little while so you can gain some perspective. It is almost impossible to do that when you are right in the middle of the fray. Step back, take deep breaths, get a plan going as to what your next steps are and follow through with them. Do not continue down this road, you will be pulled out of your center into the world of insanity each and every time. Don't do it. Take the focus off of him and put it onto you. Do that and get help for you. Once you begin that journey you will begin to feel better. You heart will begin to mend. You will feel joy again. This insanity will end. But YOU have to be the one who does it. YOU have to change how you respond. You can do it. One moment at a time, one day at a time, and then all those moments and days will run together and you will wake up one day and feel better, a lot better. Take care of YOU. Start right now. Sending you warm thoughts and prayers for this issue tonight to resolve and for you to find the strength to detach and accept what you cannot change. [/QUOTE]
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