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Parent Emeritus
need reminder that I am only a money machine to my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 632119" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm sorry for your hurting heart. Please understand that in order to stay at any shelter or the Salvation Army mission, the person has to follow rules. I read an interesting autobiolography about a young man who lived on the streets. He kept getting thrown out of a mission because he did not want to follow their rules and ended up in a tent city, which he liked very much. Yup, he liked it. Although the mission would not allow him to sleep there, he was still allowed to eat th ere and they all (all the street friends he made) knew where and how to get food. They even got a free new tent that, he says, was awesome. Your son does not want to follow the rules in place at these places. Often that is because there is a curfew, which they don't like (they think they should be able to stay out as late as they like) or they have conditions to getting food (such as listening to a preacher at the mission or going to NA) or they just plain don't want to spend a night sober and drugs and being high is forbidden. Learned a lot by that young man's book. He was fine being homeless, even turned down his sisters offer of a home several times. He never went without food or even cigarettes. If necessary, he panhandled and was fine with it.</p><p></p><p>Our difficult children do not think like we do nor do they share our values. Unless they change, they will not fit in anywhere that has rules, including our homes. Many are ok with stealing from us and are verbally abusive or physically abusive or both. They have to look around and decide their lifestyle is horrible in order to put effort into change a nd we can't control when or if that happens.</p><p></p><p>The author of the "I Was Homeless" book thinks his homelessness was a good experience. I wonder how he is doing now, but there is no information. He did eventually go live with his sister, but, from reading his book, I wonder if that worked out. He was so used to playing by his own rules. I wish I still had the name of that book, but I don't.</p><p></p><p>Usually when our grown kids sound desperate, they are...desperate for drugs. But they know we won't send them money for drugs so they pull at our heartstrings and say they need food.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 632119, member: 1550"] I'm sorry for your hurting heart. Please understand that in order to stay at any shelter or the Salvation Army mission, the person has to follow rules. I read an interesting autobiolography about a young man who lived on the streets. He kept getting thrown out of a mission because he did not want to follow their rules and ended up in a tent city, which he liked very much. Yup, he liked it. Although the mission would not allow him to sleep there, he was still allowed to eat th ere and they all (all the street friends he made) knew where and how to get food. They even got a free new tent that, he says, was awesome. Your son does not want to follow the rules in place at these places. Often that is because there is a curfew, which they don't like (they think they should be able to stay out as late as they like) or they have conditions to getting food (such as listening to a preacher at the mission or going to NA) or they just plain don't want to spend a night sober and drugs and being high is forbidden. Learned a lot by that young man's book. He was fine being homeless, even turned down his sisters offer of a home several times. He never went without food or even cigarettes. If necessary, he panhandled and was fine with it. Our difficult children do not think like we do nor do they share our values. Unless they change, they will not fit in anywhere that has rules, including our homes. Many are ok with stealing from us and are verbally abusive or physically abusive or both. They have to look around and decide their lifestyle is horrible in order to put effort into change a nd we can't control when or if that happens. The author of the "I Was Homeless" book thinks his homelessness was a good experience. I wonder how he is doing now, but there is no information. He did eventually go live with his sister, but, from reading his book, I wonder if that worked out. He was so used to playing by his own rules. I wish I still had the name of that book, but I don't. Usually when our grown kids sound desperate, they are...desperate for drugs. But they know we won't send them money for drugs so they pull at our heartstrings and say they need food. [/QUOTE]
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need reminder that I am only a money machine to my difficult child
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