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<blockquote data-quote="SeaGenieTx" data-source="post: 663667" data-attributes="member: 18773"><p>My son spent the weekend with his girlfriend, called me today to see if I had "calmed down" and whether he needed to come get his stuff and find another place to live. I had to remind him of my previous discussion - that if he wanted to meet at Starbucks and give me a list of stuff he wants, I would then box his stuff up for him and set it outside (at a time convenient for ME) and then he could pick it up. He said he didn't want me in his room throwing things away and I said it wasn't his room anymore that it's going to be my office and I can do what I want. I will not throw anything away but I will pack it up and he can get it.</p><p></p><p>He then started with his gaslighting and he tried putting it all on me saying the whipits were not his - they were his girlfriends, how he did nothing wrong, yadda yadda. I cut the convo short, told him if he was stupid to hang out with people who do inhalants he lost all priviledges to live in my home. I said he was free to do as he pleased and when he wanted his things (and I repeated the above)... He said he didn't need anything now, he'd be gone a few days (staying at his girlfriends & her mom's house 2 hours away). I said "Ok, talk to you later!" and hung up.</p><p></p><p>I'm so glad I changed the locks or otherwise he'd come by while I was at work. Its such a huge relief to have done that.</p><p></p><p>Still its breaking my heart. I've lost the son I used to know. When he got his money we talked of taking a trip to the Florida Keys - he'd pay his half. We used to take trips all the time until 3-4 years ago when he started smoking pot. His whole personality changed. He became defensive, disrespectful, argumentative and refused to help with or do chores. He and this girlfriend of his fight constantly and he talks so disrespectful to her calling her names. I told him I did not raise my son to treat women like that. His girlfriend just sat there like a deer in headlights and my son says "Oh we always talk that way to each other". I looked at her and said "Do you not have any self esteem?". Obviously not - she is 19 and clueless.</p><p></p><p>He has his money so he won't be destitute. His girlfriend and her mom can enable him - maybe he will just stay there and live with them. That won't last long though - he and his girlfriend fight too much. </p><p></p><p>Now I am focusing on me. I need to get out and meet new people, make new friends and start dating again. Any ideas how to meet new people? I'm 52.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeaGenieTx, post: 663667, member: 18773"] My son spent the weekend with his girlfriend, called me today to see if I had "calmed down" and whether he needed to come get his stuff and find another place to live. I had to remind him of my previous discussion - that if he wanted to meet at Starbucks and give me a list of stuff he wants, I would then box his stuff up for him and set it outside (at a time convenient for ME) and then he could pick it up. He said he didn't want me in his room throwing things away and I said it wasn't his room anymore that it's going to be my office and I can do what I want. I will not throw anything away but I will pack it up and he can get it. He then started with his gaslighting and he tried putting it all on me saying the whipits were not his - they were his girlfriends, how he did nothing wrong, yadda yadda. I cut the convo short, told him if he was stupid to hang out with people who do inhalants he lost all priviledges to live in my home. I said he was free to do as he pleased and when he wanted his things (and I repeated the above)... He said he didn't need anything now, he'd be gone a few days (staying at his girlfriends & her mom's house 2 hours away). I said "Ok, talk to you later!" and hung up. I'm so glad I changed the locks or otherwise he'd come by while I was at work. Its such a huge relief to have done that. Still its breaking my heart. I've lost the son I used to know. When he got his money we talked of taking a trip to the Florida Keys - he'd pay his half. We used to take trips all the time until 3-4 years ago when he started smoking pot. His whole personality changed. He became defensive, disrespectful, argumentative and refused to help with or do chores. He and this girlfriend of his fight constantly and he talks so disrespectful to her calling her names. I told him I did not raise my son to treat women like that. His girlfriend just sat there like a deer in headlights and my son says "Oh we always talk that way to each other". I looked at her and said "Do you not have any self esteem?". Obviously not - she is 19 and clueless. He has his money so he won't be destitute. His girlfriend and her mom can enable him - maybe he will just stay there and live with them. That won't last long though - he and his girlfriend fight too much. Now I am focusing on me. I need to get out and meet new people, make new friends and start dating again. Any ideas how to meet new people? I'm 52. [/QUOTE]
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