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Need some advice...Court tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 653571" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Has your daughter been seeing this boy again? That would imply that she made a choice to follow this exact path. That changes what your response should be.</p><p></p><p>The face to face support group Seeking Strength suggested is a very good idea. Other than a group like that or a professional, keep this confidential for now. This is not for the neighbors, not for the family, not for the best friend to know.</p><p></p><p>You cannot change what is already done.</p><p></p><p>You know where she is. You know she is alive. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>One step at a time.</p><p></p><p>Remember to breathe.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like this male is responsible. He has been where she is. He picked her up. He kept her safe.</p><p></p><p>If he is in recovery, he will have been through something similar with his own parents.</p><p></p><p>I think you did the right thing in not bringing her home.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Then she is fine right where she is. <em>This is what she chose.</em></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is better to know.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is something to be grateful for. I have had it both ways. It is worse not to know.</p><p></p><p>In the night, our own imaginations will tear us apart, if we don't know. </p><p></p><p>God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change</p><p>the Courage to change the things I can</p><p>and the Wisdom to know the difference.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>If those who are contacting you can get you to do something, they will not have to do anything more. The thing is, no one knows what to do...and really, there is nothing anyone can do.</p><p></p><p>Only your daughter could change this for herself. She made a different choice.</p><p></p><p>You did every single thing you knew to do. You posted here just this morning, more worried about her Court date than she was.</p><p></p><p>Something has happened that you could not have foreseen, and that you could not have stopped, even if you had known.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It helps me to name that place. Here on the site, we call it: FOG. When we can recognize we are there, then we recognize we have been traumatized and that we need to take time.</p><p></p><p>Time.</p><p></p><p>Take a breath, a deep, cleansing one.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is.</p><p></p><p>Take charge of your thoughts to the degree that you can.</p><p></p><p>No thinking at all right now is best.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing you need to do. </p><p></p><p>Exercise, scrub a floor, run hard, scream into a sofa pillow. Get the feelings out where you can see them <em>in private.</em> Then, you can pull yourself together.</p><p></p><p>The amazing thing is that we can function at all when we are going through things like this.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 653571, member: 17461"] Has your daughter been seeing this boy again? That would imply that she made a choice to follow this exact path. That changes what your response should be. The face to face support group Seeking Strength suggested is a very good idea. Other than a group like that or a professional, keep this confidential for now. This is not for the neighbors, not for the family, not for the best friend to know. You cannot change what is already done. You know where she is. You know she is alive. One step at a time. Remember to breathe. It sounds like this male is responsible. He has been where she is. He picked her up. He kept her safe. If he is in recovery, he will have been through something similar with his own parents. I think you did the right thing in not bringing her home. Then she is fine right where she is. [I]This is what she chose.[/I] It is better to know. That is something to be grateful for. I have had it both ways. It is worse not to know. In the night, our own imaginations will tear us apart, if we don't know. God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. If those who are contacting you can get you to do something, they will not have to do anything more. The thing is, no one knows what to do...and really, there is nothing anyone can do. Only your daughter could change this for herself. She made a different choice. You did every single thing you knew to do. You posted here just this morning, more worried about her Court date than she was. Something has happened that you could not have foreseen, and that you could not have stopped, even if you had known. It is what it is. It helps me to name that place. Here on the site, we call it: FOG. When we can recognize we are there, then we recognize we have been traumatized and that we need to take time. Time. Take a breath, a deep, cleansing one. It is what it is. Take charge of your thoughts to the degree that you can. No thinking at all right now is best. There is nothing you need to do. Exercise, scrub a floor, run hard, scream into a sofa pillow. Get the feelings out where you can see them [I]in private.[/I] Then, you can pull yourself together. The amazing thing is that we can function at all when we are going through things like this. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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