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Need some advice...Court tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 653587" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Oh Weary, your comment shouted to me. I feel this very often - <em>out sight, out of mind.....</em>well, it helps me. husband and I talk about D C every day and pray for him several times a day, but it is the not having any contact with him that helps husband and me go about our lives. We have no idea what he is up to day to day.</p><p></p><p> About a year ago, Difficult Child's girlfriend (a social worker) sent out an email to everybody they knew -including us. Difficult Child told us <em>This will go viral</em>. (and we knew, the email was crafted by both Difficult Child and girlfriend). If it went viral, we never knew. It was NOT on the 6 o'clock news, lol.</p><p></p><p>One of the comments, supposedly from the expert girlfriend said, "This is not detachment. This is avoidance." I posted much of that email on this forum and got awesome feedback, of course. One member asked if the difficult child got her degree from some dubious online fake school, lol. Made us chuckle.</p><p></p><p>However, it did not matter. There was not a darn thing we could do to help him. We had tried everything...including several $250/visits for mental health help. Difficult Child did not want it and was not sharing anything with the professionals so that they might help.</p><p></p><p>At the end of the day, avoidance, detachment?? What difference does it make? We cannot help them until THEY want help. And, then we will know because they will be trying harder than we are. Such a simple litmus test, yet it can take a lot of pain and struggle for us to grasp.</p><p></p><p>So, <em>out of sight, out of mind</em> is as valuable as anything we might use. in my humble opinion</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 653587, member: 17635"] Oh Weary, your comment shouted to me. I feel this very often - [I]out sight, out of mind.....[/I]well, it helps me. [I] [/I]husband and I talk about D C every day and pray for him several times a day, but it is the not having any contact with him that helps husband and me go about our lives. We have no idea what he is up to day to day. About a year ago, Difficult Child's girlfriend (a social worker) sent out an email to everybody they knew -including us. Difficult Child told us [I]This will go viral[/I]. (and we knew, the email was crafted by both Difficult Child and girlfriend). If it went viral, we never knew. It was NOT on the 6 o'clock news, lol. One of the comments, supposedly from the expert girlfriend said, "This is not detachment. This is avoidance." I posted much of that email on this forum and got awesome feedback, of course. One member asked if the difficult child got her degree from some dubious online fake school, lol. Made us chuckle. However, it did not matter. There was not a darn thing we could do to help him. We had tried everything...including several $250/visits for mental health help. Difficult Child did not want it and was not sharing anything with the professionals so that they might help. At the end of the day, avoidance, detachment?? What difference does it make? We cannot help them until THEY want help. And, then we will know because they will be trying harder than we are. Such a simple litmus test, yet it can take a lot of pain and struggle for us to grasp. So, [I]out of sight, out of mind[/I] is as valuable as anything we might use. in my humble opinion [/QUOTE]
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