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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 729603" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Welcome Laurie, so sorry for your need to be here. Your question is whether or not to call his probation officer to possibly drug test your brother. I don’t know if that would really happen, considering he is nine months out? Are you comfortable doing this? You didn’t cause his drug use, can’t control it, or cure it. That being said, from what I have heard from others is that if someone wants drugs in prison, they can get them. The motivation to quit, <em>has to come from your brother</em>. It is sad to watch our loved ones struggle with this. 24 years is a long time to be using. I am sorry for all you have gone through with this.</p><p>It has been most members experience here that any money sent an addict actively using will go towards buying drugs.</p><p>So, definitely no cash.</p><p>As far as money towards the phone, if it’s not cash and you can afford it, that is one thing. Keep in mind that when we pay for incidentals, rent, phone, etc. it also makes it easier for an addict to support their drug habit.</p><p>It is a rock and a hard place. That’s for sure. My daughter is about the same age. Been dabbling since 13 but really got heavy with meth use, I figure a few years back.</p><p>I don’t pay for anything. She is an adult and should be responsible for herself. It sounds like I am a tough hard hearted person, I am not. My stand comes after years of trying to help her, with no avail.</p><p>It’s not easy, but she has got to figure out what she wants in life. She will either continue to drug herself to oblivion or wake up.</p><p>Thing is, when her father and I were trying to help, it didn’t help her at all. She just buried herself deeper, ended up stealing from us. Bringing lots of chaos to our home.</p><p>The biggest thing we lost was time.</p><p>There are groups like Al Anon or Naranon that help family members cope with everything that happens to us when our loved ones go off the rails with drugs.</p><p>You sound like a very sweet and loving sister. I know it is so hard to watch the chaos and drama of addiction unfold.</p><p>The thing is, it is up to the addict to want change.</p><p>What you can do now, is strive find ways to <em>strengthen yourself.</em></p><p>You have come to the right place here, many of us have been right where you are, just desperate for solutions.</p><p>None of us are experts or can tell you what you should do. We can write from our own experience and share stories and advice. Take what works for you and leave the rest.</p><p>Welcome Laurie, again, I am so sorry for your need to be here. Others will come along and reply.</p><p>Please know that you are not alone.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 729603, member: 19522"] Welcome Laurie, so sorry for your need to be here. Your question is whether or not to call his probation officer to possibly drug test your brother. I don’t know if that would really happen, considering he is nine months out? Are you comfortable doing this? You didn’t cause his drug use, can’t control it, or cure it. That being said, from what I have heard from others is that if someone wants drugs in prison, they can get them. The motivation to quit, [I]has to come from your brother[/I]. It is sad to watch our loved ones struggle with this. 24 years is a long time to be using. I am sorry for all you have gone through with this. It has been most members experience here that any money sent an addict actively using will go towards buying drugs. So, definitely no cash. As far as money towards the phone, if it’s not cash and you can afford it, that is one thing. Keep in mind that when we pay for incidentals, rent, phone, etc. it also makes it easier for an addict to support their drug habit. It is a rock and a hard place. That’s for sure. My daughter is about the same age. Been dabbling since 13 but really got heavy with meth use, I figure a few years back. I don’t pay for anything. She is an adult and should be responsible for herself. It sounds like I am a tough hard hearted person, I am not. My stand comes after years of trying to help her, with no avail. It’s not easy, but she has got to figure out what she wants in life. She will either continue to drug herself to oblivion or wake up. Thing is, when her father and I were trying to help, it didn’t help her at all. She just buried herself deeper, ended up stealing from us. Bringing lots of chaos to our home. The biggest thing we lost was time. There are groups like Al Anon or Naranon that help family members cope with everything that happens to us when our loved ones go off the rails with drugs. You sound like a very sweet and loving sister. I know it is so hard to watch the chaos and drama of addiction unfold. The thing is, it is up to the addict to want change. What you can do now, is strive find ways to [I]strengthen yourself.[/I] You have come to the right place here, many of us have been right where you are, just desperate for solutions. None of us are experts or can tell you what you should do. We can write from our own experience and share stories and advice. Take what works for you and leave the rest. Welcome Laurie, again, I am so sorry for your need to be here. Others will come along and reply. Please know that you are not alone. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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