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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 729613" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Does he live with his daughter or have custody of her? Does he ever drive her anywhere? If so, I would probably call the PO and report him. Otherwise I probably would not. Just the thought of him driving the daughter anywhere while high or drunk would scare the daylights out of me and I would report him. Of course my family knows I would do it too. </p><p></p><p>As far as putting money on his books in prison/jail, that is what they use to buy commissary snacks and stamps. Most phone calls are collect, at least as far as I know. Maybe it is different in your system. Usually you have to be able to accept a collect call to get a call from an inmate. It doesn't cost the inmate anything. Unless the jail or prison tells you otherwise, don't believe it if your brother tells you otherwise. Generally the facility will spell out what the charges will be very thoroughly because they know the prisoners will lie to their families about "a new system that is different that what is in the website or the paperwork" or some other nonsense. Also know that the snacks that the inmates buy are used as money inside. They use them to buy favors or services from each other, and to pay for things they have smuggled in, including drugs. So money you give to your brother to buy food in jail can be used by him to buy drugs from inmates who have smuggled it in. It is awful and scary to think about. </p><p></p><p>None of this is your problem though. If you have allowed your brother to live with you and he is abusing you and your home with his drug abuse, reporting him will get him out of your home. Otherwise, it may stir up problems in the family that you don't want to hassle with. Know that his drug use is not your fault or your problem. You didn't cause it, you cannot control it, and you can't cure it. You just can't. </p><p></p><p>Attending NarcAnon Family meetings or AlAnon can help you understand this and the impact that it has on you and your family, even though you don't abuse substances. It can be a great source of support in real life. We are always here for you, but we are only online, of course.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 729613, member: 1233"] Does he live with his daughter or have custody of her? Does he ever drive her anywhere? If so, I would probably call the PO and report him. Otherwise I probably would not. Just the thought of him driving the daughter anywhere while high or drunk would scare the daylights out of me and I would report him. Of course my family knows I would do it too. As far as putting money on his books in prison/jail, that is what they use to buy commissary snacks and stamps. Most phone calls are collect, at least as far as I know. Maybe it is different in your system. Usually you have to be able to accept a collect call to get a call from an inmate. It doesn't cost the inmate anything. Unless the jail or prison tells you otherwise, don't believe it if your brother tells you otherwise. Generally the facility will spell out what the charges will be very thoroughly because they know the prisoners will lie to their families about "a new system that is different that what is in the website or the paperwork" or some other nonsense. Also know that the snacks that the inmates buy are used as money inside. They use them to buy favors or services from each other, and to pay for things they have smuggled in, including drugs. So money you give to your brother to buy food in jail can be used by him to buy drugs from inmates who have smuggled it in. It is awful and scary to think about. None of this is your problem though. If you have allowed your brother to live with you and he is abusing you and your home with his drug abuse, reporting him will get him out of your home. Otherwise, it may stir up problems in the family that you don't want to hassle with. Know that his drug use is not your fault or your problem. You didn't cause it, you cannot control it, and you can't cure it. You just can't. Attending NarcAnon Family meetings or AlAnon can help you understand this and the impact that it has on you and your family, even though you don't abuse substances. It can be a great source of support in real life. We are always here for you, but we are only online, of course. [/QUOTE]
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