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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 729623" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>That is hard when it is so easy for him to live, without responsibility. I see that so much in my community. Parents give so much to their adult kids, they don't have to work to make a living and end up partying 24-7, which leads to more trouble. You have no control over what your parents provide for your brother, though. I am sorry for the frustration of it.</p><p> Your niece is very blessed to have you in her life. One would think that having a child would be enough to straighten up. The pull of drugs is so incredibly strong. My daughter basically <em>abandoned her three children</em> for drugs. It is sad. They are with their paternal grandparents. Addiction effects the whole family. You have been dealing with this for a long time, Laurie.</p><p> This is understandable. My thoughts are that she will always have questions. What child wouldn't wonder? My three grands grew up with the mayhem of two addicted parents, in and out of the chaos of use and all that entails. We tried to help, CPS was involved through the years, but the goal was always to "reunite the family". Unfortunately, forced classes and substance abuse programs did not stop the cycle. My grands were traumatized and live with the painful fact that their parents choose drugs over them, all those memories and drama. Nothing we did stopped the crazy they went through, even with authorities involved. Sigh. I have encouraged their grandparents to seek counseling for the kids, but don't think they have. I think it is important for kids to understand what is happening and that they did not cause these issues. Kids are smart. They know something is not right. It may be helpful for you to avail yourself of the tools that are out there, Alanon, Naranon, to guide you to help yourself and your niece deal with whatever comes along the journey. Blink of an eye and <em>years go by</em>. Dealing with this for as long as you have, you know. </p><p>I am so glad that you are able to provide stability for your niece. </p><p> It is hard not to write the end of the story. Hopefully your brother and my two will wake up and realize their true potential, but the grip of drugs supersedes everything in active addiction. I am sorry for your troubles with this Laurie. You have taken on so much in your brothers stead. I hope you have time for yourself to find peace and joy in spite of all that is happening. That is so important. You have worth, you matter.</p><p>When drug use is in the family, the results effect <em>everyone</em>. Finding ways to strengthen ourselves and take care of ourselves is key.</p><p>Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. It helps to know that there are others out there living with this and finding healthy ways to cope, to set boundaries.</p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 729623, member: 19522"] That is hard when it is so easy for him to live, without responsibility. I see that so much in my community. Parents give so much to their adult kids, they don't have to work to make a living and end up partying 24-7, which leads to more trouble. You have no control over what your parents provide for your brother, though. I am sorry for the frustration of it. Your niece is very blessed to have you in her life. One would think that having a child would be enough to straighten up. The pull of drugs is so incredibly strong. My daughter basically [I]abandoned her three children[/I] for drugs. It is sad. They are with their paternal grandparents. Addiction effects the whole family. You have been dealing with this for a long time, Laurie. This is understandable. My thoughts are that she will always have questions. What child wouldn't wonder? My three grands grew up with the mayhem of two addicted parents, in and out of the chaos of use and all that entails. We tried to help, CPS was involved through the years, but the goal was always to "reunite the family". Unfortunately, forced classes and substance abuse programs did not stop the cycle. My grands were traumatized and live with the painful fact that their parents choose drugs over them, all those memories and drama. Nothing we did stopped the crazy they went through, even with authorities involved. Sigh. I have encouraged their grandparents to seek counseling for the kids, but don't think they have. I think it is important for kids to understand what is happening and that they did not cause these issues. Kids are smart. They know something is not right. It may be helpful for you to avail yourself of the tools that are out there, Alanon, Naranon, to guide you to help yourself and your niece deal with whatever comes along the journey. Blink of an eye and [I]years go by[/I]. Dealing with this for as long as you have, you know. I am so glad that you are able to provide stability for your niece. It is hard not to write the end of the story. Hopefully your brother and my two will wake up and realize their true potential, but the grip of drugs supersedes everything in active addiction. I am sorry for your troubles with this Laurie. You have taken on so much in your brothers stead. I hope you have time for yourself to find peace and joy in spite of all that is happening. That is so important. You have worth, you matter. When drug use is in the family, the results effect [I]everyone[/I]. Finding ways to strengthen ourselves and take care of ourselves is key. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. It helps to know that there are others out there living with this and finding healthy ways to cope, to set boundaries. (((HUGS))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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