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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 716513" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Hm. This is tough, because I know how much you probably need the getaway. I'm inclined to tell you to go, but have a game plan in the back of your mind regarding what situations may prompt you to come home early, and what situations are things you can live with and deal with later. You deserve a break from the madness - and if you have a plan B in place, maybe you can relax a little more. </p><p></p><p>The toughest part: quite honestly, I think the odds are good that she'll come over, rule or no rule. I guarantee you she can talk her way in, in such a way that Ferb won't even blink about an impending punishment. You have to decide if you can live with that, I guess -- can it be any worse than it's already been? </p><p></p><p>Because of that, I think revoking college tuition is a bit harsh for punishment. Ferb is young, and this woman is a predator. Do you really want to take away something like college because a predator took advantage of your son? Not saying he has no fault here, but he is still a kid emotionally - and she's taking advantage of that. I'd just think on that part a bit. Maybe make the punishment something you can live with: take away his phone/wifi access, maybe? His transportation? Does he even need to know what the punishment will be, really? Honestly I don't think it will matter once she starts manipulating. That's one thing I learned about my kids as teens - a proposed punishment, no matter how harsh, rarely stopped them from doing anything. An immature mind is too impulsive, once they're "in the moment" they just don't care. It was important I followed through with the punishment however, so I had to make sure I could live with what I'd said I'd do. </p><p></p><p>Of course, it's easy for me to say these things from my chair over here - you're the one that has to live with this . I just wanted to throw out my thoughts.</p><p></p><p>Thinking of you...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 716513, member: 1157"] Hm. This is tough, because I know how much you probably need the getaway. I'm inclined to tell you to go, but have a game plan in the back of your mind regarding what situations may prompt you to come home early, and what situations are things you can live with and deal with later. You deserve a break from the madness - and if you have a plan B in place, maybe you can relax a little more. The toughest part: quite honestly, I think the odds are good that she'll come over, rule or no rule. I guarantee you she can talk her way in, in such a way that Ferb won't even blink about an impending punishment. You have to decide if you can live with that, I guess -- can it be any worse than it's already been? Because of that, I think revoking college tuition is a bit harsh for punishment. Ferb is young, and this woman is a predator. Do you really want to take away something like college because a predator took advantage of your son? Not saying he has no fault here, but he is still a kid emotionally - and she's taking advantage of that. I'd just think on that part a bit. Maybe make the punishment something you can live with: take away his phone/wifi access, maybe? His transportation? Does he even need to know what the punishment will be, really? Honestly I don't think it will matter once she starts manipulating. That's one thing I learned about my kids as teens - a proposed punishment, no matter how harsh, rarely stopped them from doing anything. An immature mind is too impulsive, once they're "in the moment" they just don't care. It was important I followed through with the punishment however, so I had to make sure I could live with what I'd said I'd do. Of course, it's easy for me to say these things from my chair over here - you're the one that has to live with this . I just wanted to throw out my thoughts. Thinking of you... [/QUOTE]
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