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Need some stiffening of the backbone...or open to opinions of the group
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 651851" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I know this feeling. In fact the best thing about having him in jail is that when I saw the paper on Monday morning and a young man had been stabbed to death in one of the neighborhoods, I didn't need to read on to see if it was my son.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, that is the saddest part. My sister has a severely autistic son, too far out there to know he is different (nonverbal and minimally toilet trained at 23). I wouldn't want to trade, and yet the sadness is different.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>yes, things I can barely say out loud can be addressed her.</p><p></p><p>When he called last night, still very worked up and pleading, he volunteered that he had been raped in jail the night before.</p><p></p><p>You know what I thought?</p><p></p><p>"doubt that, kiddo".</p><p></p><p>What kind of mom thinks that?</p><p></p><p>I went right to the place of Cedar's earlier message...his manipulation is frightening in its intensity.</p><p></p><p>But what if it is true?</p><p></p><p>Even so, even so. All his choices for four years lead him inexorably to this place.</p><p></p><p>We have a monkey wrench in that my ex's new wife is friends with the best criminal attorney in town..known for getting EVERYONE off...he says he can get him off...may even be willing to do it for free.</p><p></p><p>This to me doesn't impact the main issues...but it has my ex in a tizzy.</p><p></p><p>My sister wife (his new wife) is just trying to help, with three very young sons she can't imagine letting a kid stay in jail.</p><p></p><p>But she is wrong. And making the pain worse.</p><p></p><p>This is why we have the board, because you all can see and understand the layers.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>yes. Walk the dogs, pet the cat. My other three kids piled in the car last night when we I went out to get our favorite guilty pleasure junk food dinner (I would say what but then you would all be jealous). I walked with my teenage boys to their train this morning and they were funny, and they love me. The sun is up. My SO brought me coffee. Gratitude.</p><p></p><p>Its the damn phone calls that kill me.</p><p></p><p>Sticking to one a day. I don't want him to feel abandoned. I tell myself I will be wisely supportive..but he starts wailing and to some extent excusing...and I light into him with "really???? this is not your fault???" so even there I am not who I want to be. Never really was in my relationship with him.</p><p></p><p>And so it goes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 651851, member: 17269"] I know this feeling. In fact the best thing about having him in jail is that when I saw the paper on Monday morning and a young man had been stabbed to death in one of the neighborhoods, I didn't need to read on to see if it was my son. Yes, that is the saddest part. My sister has a severely autistic son, too far out there to know he is different (nonverbal and minimally toilet trained at 23). I wouldn't want to trade, and yet the sadness is different. yes, things I can barely say out loud can be addressed her. When he called last night, still very worked up and pleading, he volunteered that he had been raped in jail the night before. You know what I thought? "doubt that, kiddo". What kind of mom thinks that? I went right to the place of Cedar's earlier message...his manipulation is frightening in its intensity. But what if it is true? Even so, even so. All his choices for four years lead him inexorably to this place. We have a monkey wrench in that my ex's new wife is friends with the best criminal attorney in town..known for getting EVERYONE off...he says he can get him off...may even be willing to do it for free. This to me doesn't impact the main issues...but it has my ex in a tizzy. My sister wife (his new wife) is just trying to help, with three very young sons she can't imagine letting a kid stay in jail. But she is wrong. And making the pain worse. This is why we have the board, because you all can see and understand the layers. yes. Walk the dogs, pet the cat. My other three kids piled in the car last night when we I went out to get our favorite guilty pleasure junk food dinner (I would say what but then you would all be jealous). I walked with my teenage boys to their train this morning and they were funny, and they love me. The sun is up. My SO brought me coffee. Gratitude. Its the damn phone calls that kill me. Sticking to one a day. I don't want him to feel abandoned. I tell myself I will be wisely supportive..but he starts wailing and to some extent excusing...and I light into him with "really???? this is not your fault???" so even there I am not who I want to be. Never really was in my relationship with him. And so it goes. [/QUOTE]
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