Need support for my little sister

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, Feb 13, 2013.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    M spent months taking care of Mom, when she had squamous cell carcinoma on her tongue, and supervised the move to assisted living for Mom and Dad. Then Mom fell and broke her hip in the hospital.
    M's daughter was on drugs and was in rehab. (4X. The 4th one did the trick.)
    Her son has colon issues; not sure if it's celiac or crohn's but it's taken a chunk out of his life. He will grad from HS in May.

    M visited Dad nearly every day, and had to jump through hoops w.assisted living, and the worst part was at the end, when his Alzheimer's moved into the anger stage, and she didn't want him tied down in the psychiatric ward, so she brought him home. The worst two wks of her life. He ended up in the psychiatric ward anyway, and then in hospice.

    Her husband has not been supportive through this; just wants her to work and make $. And he second guessed every single medication and dr move that M made, even though he wasn't on board to see what was going on every day. (I hate it when people do that.)

    So, last summer, daughter finally got off meth and is doing really, really well. She's staying on her antianxiety medications and going to therapy, and working part time.
    Son is going to the dr once a mo for some kind of infusion and is on a gluten free diet.
    M's husband lost 30 lbs. :)
    Dad died in June and M got rid of everything in his apt. and settled all the bills.

    She spent the summer at friends' lake cabins, partying, writing, speaking, totally enjoying her life. She was like a bird let out of a cage.

    Just found out that her husband's s-i-l has Stage IV colon cancer. She had a mass so big that it pushed out her tummy just below her navel. She has been bleeding for a yr. She thought that her herbal remedies and natural water would be enough. NOT.
    Her husband, M's b-i-l, has crohn's. He still eats wheat. He weighs about 1 lb. He had a stroke last yr. 2 wks ago, he took too much coumadin and went nutso and ended up in the ER. He's nutso anyway but how he's worse. No way can he care for his wife.
    Just for example, he slept through his wife's oncology appointment, where the dr, after the surgery, told them how serious this illness is. Again. Because they hadn't understood the info the first time.

    The dr turned to my sister, M, looked her in the eye, and said, "You'll be coming to all the appts, right?"

    Arrrrgghhhhh! I feel so badly for her!

    She said she just wants to have her son graduate in May, and to have his Big Day, before someone dies.
    She was having so much fun, and had really earned her freedom.
    Also, she is having a reaction to Effexor. Itching all over and had the entire house sprayed for fleas b4 she realized it could be the medication. She went off of it and is now doing the head-zinging thing. At least she's on estrogen so I hope she won't kill anyone. :) And she can still drink coffee.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Poor girl! Is she here? The one you came to see? I sure would like a movie buddy or someone to go eat with if she wants an escape. Wishing her the best!
  3. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Oh My goodness, I don't know how she is sane. I will definately add her to my prayers and sending hugs and support from Illinois!!!!!That is a lot to deal with.
  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    She derserves a lttle peace and happiness after all she does for everyone. Thank goodness her daughter is doing well and she can drink coffee at least. Sending support.
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yikes. Sending prayers and warm wishes for some peace for your sister.......................
  6. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Prayers and good juju for your sister - she deserves a break.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I think this is a perfect example of "when bad things happen to good people" doesn't make any sense. I'm so sorry. DDD
  8. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I am so sorry. I can't even imagine. I second DDD's sentiments. It always seems that life loves to sock it to you in droves, and just when it seems you can catch a breath.., wham.

    Good thoughts for you sister and all of you
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Ugh, I don't know why some people seem to get all the bad juju! I'm sending some good juju her way!
  10. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Goodness! Saying prayers and sending peaceful and calm vibes her way. Pretzeling too.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all! Yes, Buddy. I wish you had met her. But you still may be able to, considering that I may be flying up to either help her out, or go to a funeral. Or at least, attend the graduation in May.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    And, it could be worse. Instead of being a caregiver again, M could be the one with-colon cancer. !!
  13. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Glad she did get something of a break, she deserved it. Wishing the best for her and everyone!
  14. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending good thoughts...that's a heavy load she's carrying.
  15. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Sending warm thoughts for your sister. Hoping that life eases up on her!
  16. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    She is one strong woman; even if she doesn't feel like it. I'll also pray for her.
  17. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Positive thoughts being sent. She sounds like she has had a definate case of overload.

  18. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Ok...let's work on that....
  19. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It's obvious that your lil sis is about as good hearted as they come. She needs to learn to say the word No. Otherwise it isn't going to be long before she suffers from caregivers breakdown. I'm sure there was probably someone else who could step up to the plate. Hopefully there is someone who will at the very least step up to help her.

    So sorry sis' has found herself as caregiver once again. Saying a prayer for her.

  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you. She is spending tonight, Valentine's Day, bringing dinner to her b-i-l and s-i-l.