Thanks all. Oh, she is th maser of manipulation!!!! I did what alot of you said: checked it out: and she was doing fine but oh was she negoitating, bargaining, throwing these enorumous fits. The last one was becasue they won't let her have outside food in. Eventually, she will reach a level and be able to go out int he community but for now, this is what she is dealing with.
Here is the kicker for me: she goies I am going to sign myself out. This place is not a Baker Act facility and I was rally getting hooked and terrified for her (boy this will show me a lot of the buttons I get hooked by) that she would be Baker acted into this scary faiclty but I keep detatching.
When I talk kto the staff, she is adjusting doing better. With me, she is pestering, baderging, the same stuff she alwsy does aroudn here. ILast night at Nami, thsi woman facitator who husband is bipoalr and who did dimalty terrifying stuff like holding them hostage ( difficult child did this to us last week) , supported me to not take all of her pain on. Yes, it si painful for her. She creid and pleaded and negoitqated for hurs and I have hung firm. Boy, was she pulling my guilt buttons. I kept putting it back on her:I am trying to have her tratment be between the tratment staff and her. I am in no way abanding her.
She will have conswuences for actins there and that can be apinful to watch. I have alwys homeshoole dher: I hav ebeen so involved always and the other Nami woman pointed out to me I am sitll her huge advocate.
She has a lot of learning essues and has never beenin a trational school and there is a lot of eanxity about dealing with that. I am insitng on advocating, continuing somewhat what we have been doing for 3 years.
It is a huge adjustment for all of this. She kept scraming over nad over, I never thought you would actually do this.
I am holding firm and I am also going to set boundaries of how long I can listen to it. I may set a boundary that I will listent o her vent for like 5 minutes and then must talk about aothr stuff.
Her coping skills have been get frustated, over stimualted and then vent on me. I have tried to help her deal with this for so many years.
She did say one of her tratment goals was getting out of the emtinal blackmail.
I am grivng, I knwo tht is normal.
Another thing, is they are saying 6 months and from this list aI havf elearned taht I am NOT agreeing to her have back in unless it is safe for us.
Honestly, I doubt she wil be at a place in 6 months, but one day at a time.
She is very rapid cycling BiPolar (BP) , plus the conduct disorder and subtance abuse. I am goign to contue practice detatchment!!!!
It will take tiem to allow me to enjoy the relif and quiet. I guress I do feel guilty. That is pattern aof mine. A lot of you were right on, I do feel bad about enjoying myself espeically when she is expressing so much pain. Yet, I do need this space. I cannot beleive all we hav ebeent hgouh with her stealing, runnign awysw, legal problems, acting out, and now dealing eith Residential Treatment Center (RTC).
At the same time, Iwas trying so hard to keep her in hralthy activites. So now, I am sitll trying to figure out how to deal with the voleyball coaches, the voice teacher. I am uncofroatable being ttoalyy up front. The volyball athletic director has been grooming her to be on his varsity team for next fall for years. He wants to know if there id anything he can do. I cannot promise she wil be well enough to paly varsity n the fall. The voice teacher, is like can she come in for make up lesson this month
. It is very wierd to have her off the radar. Same with church activites. I worked so hard keeping her in healthy stuff and she insistd the last 8 months: I ralize a lt is her isllness/subatance abuse but she is now crying over voeyball/music when she has been refusing to partipate and the safety level had to come first.
The six months there will be a huge adjsutment and difficult for her but heopfully helpful At the very least, she is off the strrts, not runnning away, doing drugs.
I really don Occupational Therapist (OT) know what is realistic. I would still like her to have the optin of doing the academic programat the colelge she wanted to do but the rality is she has been so ill with the mania, runnign way, and hung over from substances, little academic stuff has been able to get accomplished. Plus, I have alsys tailoed it to her so there is a lot of anxity for me about this. I know AI wil have to adovacate tons for her. We so an online school and I have been keeping up wih the work and will try to be ralistic.
She is just getting out of pyschoitc mania episode. She is ttoaly bored but thiat tis part of the process. The level of stimualtion: the law braking substance abuse and running away, etc., it will take tiem to withdraw from that.
Thanks support group. Compassion