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need support...new and wobbly, lol please re:child
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 32873" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Hi and welcome~ I know it's tempting to withhold this information from her, especially since she is so oppositional about seeing a DR. However, I don't think tricking her is the way to get her there. What happens when she has to go back? I mean, how many times do you think she is going to fall for that? Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Have you ever asked her how her outbursts and meltdowns make her feel? Has she ever talked about how stressful they are for HER? How they make her doubt herself or perhaps make her feel like she may be crazy and out of control? Wile we were trying to convince my easy child to get counseling, which she was very much against, we had some talks about how her panic attacks and anxiety made HER feel rather than how they affected the rest of the family BEFORE we took her to the DR. Once she was able to see that finding out what was going on and getting to the ROOT of the problem, she was more open to the idea of seeing the DR and being evaluated. At that time, my difficult child was in a really bad place and I think easy child was afraid that she was going to wind up on all sorts of medications, etc. We finally got easy child in to see the DR 3 separate times. She was evaluated and given an anti-anxiety medication for about 3 weeks; a sleep aid for when needed, and it was suggested that she be placed on birth control pills to help with her severe mooods around her period. It was enough and the rest was monitored by her GYN for about a year. easy child no longer has to take anything - except the birth control pills and an occasional ambien for sleep (hardly ever-she's at college now and sometimes sleep is hard to come by). In the interim, we practiced some deep breathing and visualization at home for her anxiety and panic attacks. She saw a counselor 3 times and refused to go back and promised to work on this on her own, which she did (**my difficult child could never have done this). easy child can talk herself out of an anxiety attack now, most of the time.</p><p></p><p>I think by discussing her behaviors without the fear of seeing a DR, (perhaps daughter-difficult child could jot down some of what she's feeling on paper) she may feel more confortable realizing that you're not bringing her to the DR as a THREAT but moreso as a means to help her move forward and be more calmer and happier with herself.</p><p></p><p>We had a real hard time getting difficult child to realize that we weren't trying to 'fix' her, but rather, we were trying to help her learn ways to help herself cope better. It changed her perspective of mental health DR's - really.</p><p></p><p>There are many ways to reduce stress and anxiety in the home, but the first step is to see where all this is coming from for daughter-difficult child. I commend you in seeking help and really hope that you can get your daughter to the DR without a big-to-do.</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs and keep posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 32873, member: 2211"] Hi and welcome~ I know it's tempting to withhold this information from her, especially since she is so oppositional about seeing a DR. However, I don't think tricking her is the way to get her there. What happens when she has to go back? I mean, how many times do you think she is going to fall for that? Know what I mean?? Have you ever asked her how her outbursts and meltdowns make her feel? Has she ever talked about how stressful they are for HER? How they make her doubt herself or perhaps make her feel like she may be crazy and out of control? Wile we were trying to convince my easy child to get counseling, which she was very much against, we had some talks about how her panic attacks and anxiety made HER feel rather than how they affected the rest of the family BEFORE we took her to the DR. Once she was able to see that finding out what was going on and getting to the ROOT of the problem, she was more open to the idea of seeing the DR and being evaluated. At that time, my difficult child was in a really bad place and I think easy child was afraid that she was going to wind up on all sorts of medications, etc. We finally got easy child in to see the DR 3 separate times. She was evaluated and given an anti-anxiety medication for about 3 weeks; a sleep aid for when needed, and it was suggested that she be placed on birth control pills to help with her severe mooods around her period. It was enough and the rest was monitored by her GYN for about a year. easy child no longer has to take anything - except the birth control pills and an occasional ambien for sleep (hardly ever-she's at college now and sometimes sleep is hard to come by). In the interim, we practiced some deep breathing and visualization at home for her anxiety and panic attacks. She saw a counselor 3 times and refused to go back and promised to work on this on her own, which she did (**my difficult child could never have done this). easy child can talk herself out of an anxiety attack now, most of the time. I think by discussing her behaviors without the fear of seeing a DR, (perhaps daughter-difficult child could jot down some of what she's feeling on paper) she may feel more confortable realizing that you're not bringing her to the DR as a THREAT but moreso as a means to help her move forward and be more calmer and happier with herself. We had a real hard time getting difficult child to realize that we weren't trying to 'fix' her, but rather, we were trying to help her learn ways to help herself cope better. It changed her perspective of mental health DR's - really. There are many ways to reduce stress and anxiety in the home, but the first step is to see where all this is coming from for daughter-difficult child. I commend you in seeking help and really hope that you can get your daughter to the DR without a big-to-do. Gentle hugs and keep posted. [/QUOTE]
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