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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 627812" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Tearyeyed, bless you. I am so sorry for your suffering right now. </p><p></p><p>You have gotten great advice and thoughts and words above already. </p><p></p><p>Just a few things to do right now, so you can regain your strength to move forward again tomorrow or the next day:</p><p></p><p>1. Rest. Take a nap or just lie in bed. </p><p>2. Take a bubble bath.</p><p>3. If your mind is racing, go to your computer and dump it all out---no editing---just type as fast as you can, until you can't think of another word to type. </p><p>4. Let yourself cry as much as you want to. Tears are necessary and tears are healing.</p><p>5. Read some uplifting stuff--Al-Anon literature (online if you don't have any), this site, other sites about positive thinking, meditation, healing. </p><p>6. Read a light romance novel. </p><p>7. Go shopping and buy yourself something pretty.</p><p>8. Eat some cookies. </p><p>9. Call a trusted friend and dump it all out again. Tell them they don't have to say a word, just listen and love you.</p><p></p><p>Today, I went to an Al-Anon meeting and there was a woman there for the first time in a long time. I had never seen her before but she used to come a lot a long time ago, she said. </p><p></p><p>She told a bit of her backstory. She is about my age, and she hasn't seen her grown son in 12 years. I almost gasped out loud when she said that---I did gasp inwardly. She said it took her about six years to accept that, and she grieved and went through all of the stuff you can imagine a mother goes through.</p><p></p><p>Today, she said, she is at peace. She believes her Higher Power will bring her son back into her life if and when that is to be. Until then, she works to live each day at a time. </p><p></p><p>She is no Pollyanna, and she also talked about her younger son, who she said she has babied way too much. He is now in the Navy and very homesick and she has to resist driving there and bringing him back home. </p><p></p><p>She is still working and learning and trying to change. She is trying to accept reality. She is trying to stay out of the way. </p><p></p><p>This stuff we are all doing here takes tremendous courage. We are true warriors. We love our children so much that we are working as hard as we can all of the time to stay out of their way and let them learn how to grow up and be an adult and accept the consequences of their own decisions---no matter how dumb they are. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs to you. Bouquets of flowers for you today. Hang in there, and keep posting here. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/thumbsup.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":thumbsup:" title="thumbsup :thumbsup:" data-shortname=":thumbsup:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 627812, member: 17542"] Tearyeyed, bless you. I am so sorry for your suffering right now. You have gotten great advice and thoughts and words above already. Just a few things to do right now, so you can regain your strength to move forward again tomorrow or the next day: 1. Rest. Take a nap or just lie in bed. 2. Take a bubble bath. 3. If your mind is racing, go to your computer and dump it all out---no editing---just type as fast as you can, until you can't think of another word to type. 4. Let yourself cry as much as you want to. Tears are necessary and tears are healing. 5. Read some uplifting stuff--Al-Anon literature (online if you don't have any), this site, other sites about positive thinking, meditation, healing. 6. Read a light romance novel. 7. Go shopping and buy yourself something pretty. 8. Eat some cookies. 9. Call a trusted friend and dump it all out again. Tell them they don't have to say a word, just listen and love you. Today, I went to an Al-Anon meeting and there was a woman there for the first time in a long time. I had never seen her before but she used to come a lot a long time ago, she said. She told a bit of her backstory. She is about my age, and she hasn't seen her grown son in 12 years. I almost gasped out loud when she said that---I did gasp inwardly. She said it took her about six years to accept that, and she grieved and went through all of the stuff you can imagine a mother goes through. Today, she said, she is at peace. She believes her Higher Power will bring her son back into her life if and when that is to be. Until then, she works to live each day at a time. She is no Pollyanna, and she also talked about her younger son, who she said she has babied way too much. He is now in the Navy and very homesick and she has to resist driving there and bringing him back home. She is still working and learning and trying to change. She is trying to accept reality. She is trying to stay out of the way. This stuff we are all doing here takes tremendous courage. We are true warriors. We love our children so much that we are working as hard as we can all of the time to stay out of their way and let them learn how to grow up and be an adult and accept the consequences of their own decisions---no matter how dumb they are. Big hugs to you. Bouquets of flowers for you today. Hang in there, and keep posting here. :thumbsup: [/QUOTE]
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