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<blockquote data-quote="goldenguru" data-source="post: 75769" data-attributes="member: 1545"><p><strong>"When he is around my being becomes consumed by him".</strong></p><p></p><p>Why do you think that you lose yourself? </p><p></p><p>Have you ever heard of the concept of Boundaries? Here is some food for your thought from the book called Boundaries. </p><p> </p><p>Signs of boundary problems:</p><p></p><p>Inability to say no to hurtful people or set limits on hurtful behavior from others.</p><p></p><p>Inability to say no to destructive behaviors.</p><p></p><p>Inability to hear no from others and respect limits</p><p></p><p>Tendency to be attracted to irresponsible or hurtful people and then try to 'fix' them.</p><p></p><p>Taking responsibility for other people's lives.</p><p></p><p>Ability to be easily manipulated or controlled.</p><p></p><p>Inability to confront others and resolve conflicts productively.</p><p></p><p>Experiencing life as a victim instead of living it purposefully with a feeling of self control.</p><p></p><p>Disorganization and lack of follow through.</p><p></p><p>I think it helps to recognize what we as parents are doing to contribute to our kids struggles. For some of us ... we contribute to their struggles by refusing to practice healthy boundaries ... </p><p> </p><p>If you don't have a copy I would really recommend the book by Cloud & Townsend. It was a real eye opener for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="goldenguru, post: 75769, member: 1545"] [b]"When he is around my being becomes consumed by him".[/b] Why do you think that you lose yourself? Have you ever heard of the concept of Boundaries? Here is some food for your thought from the book called Boundaries. Signs of boundary problems: Inability to say no to hurtful people or set limits on hurtful behavior from others. Inability to say no to destructive behaviors. Inability to hear no from others and respect limits Tendency to be attracted to irresponsible or hurtful people and then try to 'fix' them. Taking responsibility for other people's lives. Ability to be easily manipulated or controlled. Inability to confront others and resolve conflicts productively. Experiencing life as a victim instead of living it purposefully with a feeling of self control. Disorganization and lack of follow through. I think it helps to recognize what we as parents are doing to contribute to our kids struggles. For some of us ... we contribute to their struggles by refusing to practice healthy boundaries ... If you don't have a copy I would really recommend the book by Cloud & Townsend. It was a real eye opener for me. [/QUOTE]
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