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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 76003" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>I found whenever I started to feel sorry for my difficult child I allowed her to manipulate me once again. Feeling sorry for them does them absolutely no good, only enables them. My dtr was master of the victim role, very unhealthy for anyone to take on that role. Having control over our lives is what empowers us.</p><p>She is much happier now that she is in charge of her life, says she would never want to go back to the way it was. She could not take charge of her own life til I allowed her to, which meant I had to bow out completely. These difficult children make it so hard to let go in a gradual, healthy sort of way!</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 76003, member: 3450"] I found whenever I started to feel sorry for my difficult child I allowed her to manipulate me once again. Feeling sorry for them does them absolutely no good, only enables them. My dtr was master of the victim role, very unhealthy for anyone to take on that role. Having control over our lives is what empowers us. She is much happier now that she is in charge of her life, says she would never want to go back to the way it was. She could not take charge of her own life til I allowed her to, which meant I had to bow out completely. These difficult children make it so hard to let go in a gradual, healthy sort of way! Jane [/QUOTE]
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