Need to stay strong....need a steel spine....

recoveringenabler

Well-Known Member
Staff member
PG, I'm so sorry, this has got to be so incredibly painful for you, all the possible realities now becoming quite real, sigh, yikes. You did an amazing job of not enabling her, under the circumstances it was remarkable that you held your ground. You are doing a wonderful job of keeping your boundaries intact, and I imagine it must take a toll on you. I hope the baby turns out healthy and that she decides to put it up for adoption. Oh my. Sending wishes for peace for you and many gentle hugs...........
 
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PatriotsGirl

Well-Known Member
She will not put it up for adoption, either. She says she cannot give the baby up. I just have to hold my ground, and pray that she miraculously pulls it together... :-(
 

Kathy813

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Isn't that typical of a difficult child? Not thinking about what would be best for the baby . . . just that "she" can't give it up. It is still all about her.

You are doing an incredible job at staying strong.

~Kathy
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Good Grief! I am sending very very sincere thoughts and hugs of support. Geez....who would have ever thought? DDD
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Sending hugs and prayers for all of you. Sadly, many addicts never understand that once they have a child (even one in utero), it is all about the child, NOT them. It always astonishes me when they totally cannot understand that.
 

PatriotsGirl

Well-Known Member
I have come to terms with the fact that I am 100% powerless. I have begged, pleaded, offered help, etc. I don't know what it is going to take. Sadly, I got tired of her not making a doctor's appointment, I made one for her in her town!! Took me two minutes. I let her know she has an appointment next Tuesday at 1pm and where. I even told her I would take her there myself if she needed me to. At this point, she needs to make sure that baby is healthy.

And if God really answers prayers, she will be further along than she thought and he will be OUT of the picture.

I think she would be better off being a single parent than having ties to that POS for the rest of her life. I think he is abusive. And though she plays it off like she is, too and how she hits him, too. No excuse. I would dance the happiest dance ever if he disappeared from the planet. I honestly wish something really bad happened to this man. I honestly think he is the reason she won't go back to rehab. She considers it when she feels she has no other options but then she hangs on because of him.

There is nothing I can do. Nothing. I have realized that I am totally and completely powerless. :(
 

buddy

New Member
Just really sad for you.....

Why will her being further along mean he will be out of the picture? He doesn't want the baby?

I pray she goes to the appointment.

Many hugs to you...
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Perhaps that would indicate he was not the bio, Buddy. At least that is what I interpreted it to mean. DDD
 

PatriotsGirl

Well-Known Member
Just really sad for you.....

Why will her being further along mean he will be out of the picture? He doesn't want the baby?

I pray she goes to the appointment.

Many hugs to you...

He was in jail until early December. If she was right on when she last had her period, could be his and yes, he wants it. He keeps threatening her with taking sole custody. If she got pregnant when he was in jail, it wouldn't be his and would be the other M's. The other M is in jail and not in the picture. Perhaps then she would let go of the A hole and work on herself...
 

Nancy

Well-Known Member
I'm really sad for you too PG. I hope she takes care of herself so the baby has the best chance possible. It's all terribly sad.
 

exhausted

Active Member
You are in my prayers PG. Hoping that this will end up being a life changing event. I know that you are a good mom
and you have done all you can. I am hoping that you can find some nugget of peace.
 

HaoZi

CD Hall of Fame
I don't have any advice to contribute, but wanted you know that I do follow your posts. *supportive hugs*
 

Marcie Mac

Just Plain Ole Tired
SO's neice was/is a drug addict and with baby #1 and #2 and as soon as #2 was born addicted, and soon as neice was well enough to leave the hospital, the State of Arizona jailed her. When she got out, along came baby #3 and baby #4, both addicted as well but by the time 3 and 4 were born, she had ran off to Mexico. There is still a warrant out for her arrest and she dare not cross the border.

I think that the arrest law should be mandatory in every state cause gawd knows there is no other way when they are older to get them help. Am sorry your girl has put herself in this position of deciding to keep the baby. Its going to probably need lots of intervention :(

Marcie
 
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